It has been over two years since I saw The History Channel’s The Bible, a tv miniseries with executive producers, Simon Burnett of Survivor fame, and his wife and former Touched by an Angel star, Roma Downey. Apparently the majority of Son of God appeared in that miniseries. It has been long enough that I don’t remember, which I suppose helps since Son of God feels less like a fresh take or even a basic understanding of a repeatedly adapted story and more like a motion reenactment of famous paintings and Western popular culture depictions of Jesus.
Seriously, no one wades into water with their arms outstretched to their sides instead of the front. No one kisses someone through his hair. The amount of time that this Jesus must have spent with a curling iron and fluffing up his hair is ridiculous. In that time, no one would say with disdain that someone rode a donkey. A donkey was the Mercedes of the ancient world. They would have said, “Ohhhhh, he was riding a donkey! Who is THAT person? Cue the ancient paparazzi!” Most frustrating was seeing scenes in the end credits that I do not remember appearing in the movie. Do not make me rewatch the movie to prove it. It almost seems unnecessary to mention the poor CGI or the problematic aspect of casting all these Europeans as Jewish Middle Eastern or Mediterranean characters.
Son of God is hobbled by mediocre acting, and there is little emotional resonance in the well-worn lines that oft recited like a child in elementary school. Son of God is most powerful when there is no dialogue, i.e. during the Passion. Even a poor adaptation of the Gospel triggers deeper meaning for a Christian viewer so Son of God benefits if the viewers are Christian, but if not, I would say skip it, and watch TNT’s The Bible Collection.