Godzilla is the burlesque of Godzilla movies. Anything is better than the Matthew Broderick version, but that isn’t saying much. Sure you get other monsters after a half hour of waiting, but you have to wait 55 minutes for a glimpse of Godzilla then a full hour for a full body shot and roar. Guillermo del Toro, who made Pacific Rim, got it. Within the first moments of the movie, monsters, mission statement and mayhem then he brings us human beings. There is no guilt or rational for why there are monsters versus robots until the end, and the audience does not need one. We bought a ticket for monsters versus enormous robots, and we got it and more. Godzilla follows a more traditional disaster movie model: tragic past, happy family, happy family split by forces larger than they are, and family reunited. Just when you think there is going to be an epic battle between Godzilla and other monsters-best line in the movie is, “Let them fight”-a door literally closes on the action after a few seconds. There is plenty of fighting in the last half hour. Any pretense that we even give a modicum of a damn about the human characters is tossed off like James Brown’s cape on stage. Because humans dominate the majority of Godzilla, I have to applaud casting for doing a great job there, but the actors aren’t given much to work with so if you’re expecting to really see Juliette Binoche, Ken Watanabe, Sally Hawkins and Bryan Cranston elevating Godzilla’s human drama, keep moving. The main character, a guy in the Navy trying to get back home to his family before the monsters arrive, should have just hitched a ride with the officials or even hopped on one of the monsters’ back because his story is reminiscent of Planes, Trains and Automobiles. There are tons of trolling shots of other families happily reuniting around him-Japanese families, monster families and black families-in that order, but not until the end does he get to his family. What may be most unforgivable about this Godzilla and the Matthew Broderick version: I don’t want to feel bad at any point in a monster movie. I just want to cheer monsters fighting guilt free. I felt briefly bad for the monsters in one scene, and Godzilla in another. I think that it is complete crap that Godzilla didn’t get to eat anything after such a long trip, especially after hunting so long. Are you telling me that he just hunts for sport? For us? Godzilla is a hero, and I’m fine with that, but even Marvel gives their heroes shawarma.