New rule: if your movie is less than ninety minutes long, you’re not allowed to have a flashback scene of an event that occurred in the movie. If this rule has ruined your day, blame Come Follow Me. Come Follow Me is 34 minutes long and is about the Apostle Peter’s relationship with Jesus in his final days before the crucifixion.
I watched Come Follow Me for two reasons. First, even though my mom raised me, our tastes have grown apart so one of the few things that we can watch together is anything remotely Jesus related. Second, after I found out that Bruce Marciano has played Jesus in film more than any other actor, I consider it a personal challenge to see every single one of those films.
Come Follow Me is not his best work. While it could be historically accurate, I would prefer to think that Jesus did not have an unkept neck beard. He made a beautiful world, and even though Bevel did not exist in the ancient Middle East, I would like to think that Jesus did what he could to look good just because. His crying was not organic, but we can’t all be Viola Davis. Also it was clear that Come Follow Me used a different actor in the tomb and cross scenes because that guy was svelte, and Marciano is a bit hearty.
Come Follow Me also suffered from an overly dramatic soundtrack that felt better suited for a Portlandia skit. Whenever the film shifted to the Pharisees plotting, the music practically screamed, “Bad guys!” The other actors are earnest and well intentioned, but they were not yet ready for the big or little screen. Come Follow Me was too rushed and amateurish to work. Skip it.