“Borderlands” (2024) is an adaptation of a Gearbox Software video game series. For inscrutable reasons, Roland (Kevin Hart), a former member of the Crimson Lance, a private army for hire, breaks Tiny Tina (Ariana Greenblatt) out of an institution with the help of Krieg (Florian Munteanu), a former member of the Psychos, who wear hockey masks. Atlas (Edgar Ramirez), who controls the Crimson Lance, hires a renown bounty hunter, Lilith (Cate Blanchett), to rescue and return Tiny Tina, but it requires returning to Lilith’s home planet, Pandora, which she hates. Upon landing, Claptrap (Jack Black), a robot, follows his directive to help Lilith until she dies. Despite not trusting Lilith because of her association with Atlas, the crew decides that Lilith’s gunslinging skills will come in useful, and she refuses to leave them as they search for the Vault, which contains the technology of an alien race known as the Eridians who no longer exist. They meet up with Dr. Patricia Tannis (Jamie Lee Curtis), who is an expert on locating the Vault and shares history with Lilith.

Director and cowriter Eli Roth and cowriter Joe Abercrombie in his feature film debut made this film in 2021. The director’s cut was finished in 2022, but the studio decided to hire executive producer Tim Miller, who directed “Deadpool” (2016) and “Terminator: Dark Fate” (2019), to do reshoots, rewrites and re-edit it to move it from a R to a PG-13 rating despite Miller having no credited feature film writing on his resume. Afterwards cowriter Craig Mazin allegedly asked not to be credited. Composers were changed from Nathan Barr, who frequently collaborated with Roth in “Cabin Fever” (2002), “Hostel” (2005), and “Hostel: Part II” (2007) and the short version of “Thanksgiving” (2007) early in his career, to Steve Jablonsky since “Borderlands” changed so much during the process. To provide more context, after completing this film in 2022, Roth made  and released the holiday horror hit “Thanksgiving” (2023).  The gamers seem to hate the film, and it is not doing well.

I have zero knowledge about the video game, but a movie should stand on its own feet without requiring a moviegoer to know the source material. I did not know anything about “Resident Evil” before I started watching the franchise and was entertained. I also grade movies on a curve according to their genre and can be generous with even the worst movie if some flash of excellence is buried deep. The good news is that “Borderlands” is not the worst movie that I have seen, but it is also flat compared to the ensemble cast’s usual work and production resources. Blanchett played Lilith before her superb performance in “Tar” (2022), but she is a bit one note here. It is not until the denouement that she stops holding back and gives the kind of performance that we expect from the woman who convincingly played an elf in “The Lord of the Rings” franchise and Hela in “Thor: Ragnarok” (2017). I primarily came for Blanchett, and while she is a living, breathing work of art, it still was not worth it.

The badass characters do not inspire awe and admiration of their fighting skills. Lilith does not do so great on her home planet, but maybe blame stirring up childhood trauma for taking her out of the game. Along that vein, Roland is almost impossible to take seriously. I do not usually watch Hart’s films, but I do know that he is known for being a comedian, not an action hero, so I never bought that he was an elite soldier. Maybe it is my fault, not the material or his acting skills; however, it did not help that it was impossible to understand the physical rules of this world because explosives rarely caused physical damage to the main cast but delivered mortal blows to everyone else.

The annoying characters never transcended into endearing and loveable. Tiny Tina is aligned with Greenblatt’s character in “Barbie” (2023), Sasha, as a mean brat, but Greenblatt has played affable characters in films like Young Gamora in “Avengers: Infinity War” (2018) and as the child in “65” (2023). If Tiny Tina’s grating nature was a feature, not a flaw, it did nothing to endear me to her. One minute, Tiny Tina is hurling bombs at Lilith then the next time she is shedding a tear. I felt nothing. Claptrap’s comedic relief was grating, not funny. I did not know that Black voiced the character, and I usually like him, but not this time. I laughed at one joke, and it was a visual deflation of a poignant moment, not because of his delivery.

Then there are the characters that are unmemorable though they should be. Munteanu as Viktor Drago delivered the best performance in “Creed II” (2018), but in “Borderlands,” he is not given much to do except recreate the “Saturday Night Live” skit of lifting things then putting them back down or differentiating him from the other Psychos based on his painted-on scars. I have adored Jamie Lee Curtis since “Halloween” (1978) and happily follow her in every form of media and genre, but other than her outstanding cleavage and attempt to bring nuance to her line delivery so she is more than the standard issue scientist more concerned with work than people, it was too heavy a lift for her to elevate the role.

In an unexpected twist, the best acting came from the Venezuelan Ramirez, and he was the only actor who brought something out of Blanchett which resembles her usual excellent work. Whenever the two were on screen together, it felt interesting otherwise the rest of the cast had no chemistry with each other. Chemistry can sometimes save even the worst movie. Unfortunately, Atlas only appears at the bookends of “Borderlands” so that is not a long time. He was one of the few actors who could act through instead of getting bogged down with all the junk, literal and metaphorical around him. His technology made him interesting and enhanced the story instead of acting like a veneer to distract from the lack of substance in the movie. His wealth and ruthlessness are communicated through the obedience of his henchmen and having shiny looking technology in a world filled with defunct, worn technology. Even the way that he used laser canons spoke to his character. He intentionally acted with his hands, which is the mark of a great actor.

Otherwise “Borderlands” feels like the vast wasteland that it is shot in. It is so painfully derivative that it feels like a patchwork, not a homage. It is unclear if this lack of originality was because of the change in roles on every level behind the scenes but could have been a problem from the first day. It feels ripped off from “Guardians of the Galaxy” meets the “Star Wars” franchise meets “Mad Max: Fury Road” (2015) and “Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga” (2024).

“Borderlands” is the rare movie that you should not see if you like anyone in the cast except Ramirez. The rate of return is just too low. It is not so bad that it is good. It is just sauceless and drags. There are so many great movies and television series that it is not worth your time, not even when it streams.