I love British television. I adore Maggie Gyllenhaal. I did not enjoy The Honourable Woman, an eight part miniseries, which uses the veneer of serious Middle East politics as a backdrop of a number of intersecting timeline stories and mysteries that would not necessarily add up if it was told chronologically. I did not do my due diligence before watching this show otherwise once I realized that it was a fictional spy thriller, I would have run the other way. They always pale in comparison to real life and frankly get ridiculous.
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Here is what happened. Atika was a honeypot to Ephra and gets an assignment as Nessa’s interpreter. Nessa exposes Ephra’s shenanigans and instantly likes Atika, who sets her up to get kidnapped, but not intending rape. Monica wants a big position so she exposes Ephra’s money for soldiers exchange, which Israel also uses to wiretap the phone lines. Monica wants Nessa in charge so their business is above suspicion for the next eight years so Nessa can become a martyr, but also seems to be in cahoots with the Palestinians; thus cool with rape? The Palestinians let Nessa go after she has her baby, but Atika pretends to be the mom while Nessa moves up in the company. Eight years later, Nessa was going to give a contract to a Palestinian, but he gets killed for why? This plot twist still makes no sense—just so she can give it to another Palestinian, get kidnapped again and seem to be killed so Palestine can become a state and Israel can get framed for looking like the culprit, but was innocent? Have you seen Zero Days? Watch that instead. Am I not getting it? I think that I get it.
All of the characters need an ounce of the sense that the little black boy had in Halloween. Characters get kidnapped and almost assassinated repeatedly. How are you going to that restaurant two times in your life? I would have bought the place as soon as I was old enough, burned it to the ground and made it a parking lot because the service was terrible. There is no point in being rich if you don’t do things like that. W started a whole war just because of his daddy issues, and his dad lived. I would not hold a huge event at the dining establishment where my daddy’s throat got slit! I know that Kasim is a little boy, but stop talking to strangers. He could have gotten away a couple of times and is just standing there like the statue that he is next to. Oh, now you stay put for the kidnappers, but when your fake mom is on the clock, you’re going down staircases, and when it is your uncle, you take the wrong man’s hand and help by running beside him! Make him drag you. Become dead weight! Nessa, stop going to Gaza! Also a guy got Fargoed, and nothing. Also how embarrassing is it that you come back from death, get kitted out in your jaunty green scarf and yellow sweater just to be fooled by some dimwitted sister who is clearly lying to your face about her mom doing books in some cold, empty, drafty warehouse and get shot in the head. Hell, maybe I should be in security because I’m comparatively a genius. Also Atika was barely hiding her disgust and anger at the fact that there was not a Palestinian state. It is literally the only thing that she openly and freely says at the least provocation. How did you NOT think that she was in cahoots. During the first episode, after the first scene, I knew that Nessa was Kasim’s mom, and Atika was going to betray everyone. Was it supposed to be obvious? Because it was obvious, or I watch too much TV and too many movies.
Still shout out to Atika for jumping a guy and choking him or shiving a guy with her childhood agreement because she didn’t sign up for that shit. Do not change contract terms with her. She will kill you. I still don’t understand why no one thought that she was shady from the minute that they met her. Also shout out to Rachel, who will never have her day of personal pettiness without someone else upstaging her—not her husband, her sister in law, her rapist in law, her nanny, her baby. No one ever lets it be just about her gloating how she is right, and everyone is hiding something from her. If she moved to a deserted island to just monologue to herself in the mirror, I would understand, but someone needs to raise all those babies, who better not have a tortured spinoff.
I noticed that The Honourable Woman got a lot of praise for having women be at the center of a spy drama. Um, no thank you. I felt as if I was watching Tess of the D’Ubervilles, the Middle East edition. At the end of the day, all those women were victims more defined by their vagina or relationship to a man than anything else. They do not end up on top. They get brought low. It isn’t new to have a woman in power brought down a peg with not one rape, but two until she needs to be rescued by a man. I need Nessa to get all the therapy. You can be the worst human being on Earth, and you didn’t deserve ANY of that. Damn, her story better not be based on real life. Even Jessica Jones’ mom, who is the only woman to end up on top, got schnookered by a woman who later got killed in bed, which is even worse than the cabbie assassination, which at least gives you a sort of dignified spy death. Why not shoot her while she is running? Sisterhood is nothing but treachery in disguise. The real winner was Hugh, who never once has to break a sweat and gets sad because his wife left his cheating ass, and honestly Kasim because everyone loves him and wants him alive even though I don’t remember that boy saying one word to endear me to him. You’ve got to more than a cute kid to win me over. You can disagree with my reductive analysis of the show in spirit, but I’m not wrong. Am I supposed to be mollified because the guys shake what their daddies gave them to get promotions? Because I’m not, especially if one of those guys is Stephen Rea, who is a wonderful actor that also appeared in Interview with a Vampire and gets a shout out for that appearance not once, but two times in this series.
My dislike of The Honourable Woman is not directed at the acting, which is phenomenal, or the cinematography, which is breathtaking. I didn’t like the story. It completely severed my suspension of disbelief.