“You, Me & Her” (2023) is a dramedy about a married couple, Mags (writer Selina Ringel) and Ash (Ritesh Rajan), who decide to leave their beautiful LA home for a weekend in San Pancho, Mexico. Their trip takes an unexpected turn when Mags and her yoga instructor, Angela (Sydney Park), have instant chemistry. Ash encourages the flirtation in hopes of a third wheel becoming a threesome. Nothing happens, but when Angela lands in California, do they have a second chance to jumpstart their relationship? Just get a divorce.
Let’s hope that Ringel and her real-life husband, director Dan Levy Dagerman, are not the inspiration for “You, Me & Her” because then the off-screen Ash needs a wakeup call. To root for the couple means cheering against Mags, a mother, career woman and financier of her husband’s pipe dreams to sell Indian pot in the US. It never occurs to her that she apologizes to him when she does not do anything wrong. False equivalencies, table for one. If it was about a couple who were in a rut, not a couple that should have split a long time ago, maybe the movie would work, but the foundation is cracked from the start. Let’s hope that she does not have to join a Swedish death cult to finally stand up for herself and stop apologizing for her reaction to his mistakes (“Midsommar” reference).
“You, Me & Her” feels like a tragedy because it never occurs to Mags that she deserves better than Ash only that Angela brings out a side to her that she thought was lost. Well, that happens when you marry a massive annoying killjoy who barely wants to spend time with you even on vacation. Meanwhile Mags has chemistry and fun with everyone else that she meets whether it is bartender Ramon (Victor Manuel Garcia Corso) or scuba diver guide Paco. Ash only gives his undivided attention to her when others deem her hot.
Ash is a stay-at-home dad who does not make lunch for their son, spends every second trying to score weed while abroad and is the kind of person who does not want to do anything on the trip even if he initiates it. He is also the kind of guy who gets annoyed when Mags helps him then continues to ask her for favors. Ash only excels at mooching off Mags then playing the victim when she gets angry anytime he screws up, which is often because problems are the only thing that he consistently brings to the table.
If Ash has one good trait, it is being her best friend when there is something in it for him. When she wants to vent about her dad (Hernàn Mendoza), who is also her nightmare boss, he remains preoccupied, but when Mags discovers that she kissed a girl, and she liked it, he is all ears. Rajan works incredibly hard to make him likeable, but there is not enough good looks and sense of humor to disguise a man baby character.
Angela, “a digital nomad,” clearly digs Mags and is the cool hippie chick who always checks in with Ash to make sure that he is comfortable with her advances on his wife, but it was kind of annoying that she never outright told him, “You’re never going to have sex with me. Look but don’t touch.” It is just implied. She feels like a variation of the manic pixie chick, and as lovely as Mags is, it seems a stretch that Angela could sustain interest in Mags as she gets to know the couple better since she is a package deal with a man that has the maturity level of a teenager. Park is pitch perfect as the chill chick with good vibes so why would her character want to be with them? If “You, Me & Her” were aiming for creating a movie about polygamy with valuable adult afterschool lessons, it is unclear. It felt more like the dude fantasy that of watching two lesbians have sex with the hope that they would invite him to participate.
“You, Me & Her” is plagued with more telling than showing as people break down their sexual orientation, racial makeup, religion, profession, etc. within minutes of meeting another. People may talk like that, but those are superficial characteristics that do not convey anything about their psychological makeup. On one hand, the diversity is terrific, and hearing Spanish and English dialogue was one of the best parts of the film, but it is atmosphere. It is a great aesthetic, but a movie is also a story.
The overall narrative structure would work better if the marriage was worth saving or was on any level equitable instead of Mags dragging around Ash on her coattails. The first act establishes their dead routine where they can barely stand each other without snapping. The second act is about reigniting their friendship, which is the foundation of their love story, and discovering a vacation fantasy that unearths aspects of Mags’ desires that she did not know existed. She acts like a schoolgirl with a crush and basically has a second adolescence, which means that she has one more than Ash, who is still in his first. The third act is the clash between adapting fantasy for reality.
The humor plays like a sitcom and depends on the quality of the supporting character. Carla (Fiorella Vescovi Garcia), their au pair, mostly is a supportive straight woman who seems vaguely disapproving when she notices the couple’s dynamic changes upon their return. That storyline does not really go anywhere so it feels as if her disposition from the beginning should have extended to the entire movie. The screwball comedy stuff is left to couples like the first act’s Manolo (Roberto Aguire) and Faviola (Marianna Burelli), a wilder couple they befriend on the trip, or their flat-footed, long-time, clueless friends, Ben (Graham Sibley) and Tiffany (Anna Campbell). It is theoretically funny, but a little too heavy-handed to cause actual laughter. Also the nod to Covid is welcome when most media pretends as if it never happened, but ending on a flippant note instantly turned me into a humorless liberal. (Side note public safety announcement: did you know that the recent outbreak of tuberculosis could be an unforeseen side effect of getting a Covid infection? FAFO. Oh, and people are still dying from it. Ok. Thanks. Byeeeeeeee.)
“You, Me & Her” is a pretty film. It looks like a love letter to Mexico with all the vibrant colors, the overhead shots of the beaches and the hypnotic kaleidoscope of colors accompanying the night life. Like Mags, the movie is most alive while in Mexico. It is not Angela or a sexual awakening though they are symptoms of Mags finally relaxed enough to be herself and not serve another. It was disappointing that the entire story did not unfold in Mexico. It felt like the real story was about Mags reconnecting with her roots and rediscovering the self that got lost being a dutiful daughter, a supportive wife and a loving mother.
No raunchy sex comedy here. Just domestic drama doldrums that should end with marriage dissolution. If you are easily entertained at the prospect of adults discussing having sex with other adults even when they are married and their partner consents, then “You, Me & Her” is the movie for you, but if that does not blow your skirt up, wait until streaming to check it out. It loses momentum so quickly that you will find yourself wondering when it will end despite the brief runtime.
