Unaware probably got its title because after leaving the film, you’ll have to explain that you were unaware how crappy it was going to be. Even though Unaware belongs in the found footage genre and self-consciously alludes to the Blair Witch Project, I’ve seen more interesting actual home and instructional videos. Sometimes a movie is slow and has deliberate pacing as a way of creating tension, building up suspense and/or consciously making an artistic choice to reflect the realities of our daily lives. Unaware is just boring. When nothing in particular is happening in the opening scenes during the day on a highway, one of the two main characters keeps saying things are creepy. Nothing is creepy except your inability to improvise or buy a thesaurus. Unaware makes the V/H/S franchise seem like the Scorsese of found footage. If you are desperate to find out what happens, for the love of God, don’t watch it, just read the following.
SPOILERS
Unaware should be called, “You have the worse boyfriend ever.” Basically he drives his girlfriend to his hostile and secretive grandparents’ home out in the middle of nowhere near a military airfield. He is also inconsiderate so he didn’t call ahead, and the grandparents aren’t home. He is clearly not welcome there since he incessantly worries that his grandfather would be annoyed that he is even there. He unlocks the gate AND NEVER CLOSES IT BACK AFTER ENTERING!!!! Nothing happens because of that, I was just annoyed on behalf of his grandfather, who went to a lot of trouble to keep his home secure from outsiders. Of course, this is the perfect time to propose to his girlfriend, have a dinner that involves picking at food that is out of sight while the empty plates are in full view and stilted conversation. What would you do if you were all alone with your hot fiancee? She wants to rent a movie, and he wants to explore a locked barn that his grandfather never let him hang around as a kid. These people are winners. It is 2010. They don’t even have Netflix on their laptop. If she thought things were creepy before, she isn’t too thrilled about this, but they go exploring, and soon she is as interested as he is. I guess they are perfect for each other. They find documents, and apparently their gift is Internet research because they are able to authenticate all the documents in seconds. Grandpa was into some top secret Roswell federal/military business. Voila! After several uneventful trips to the dirty, noisy, but not particularly creepy barn, they find an alien body, which we see for a second. They freak out. Call the FBI. The FBI sends a guy who is so unkempt and alone that he clearly stopped before his retirement party. He won’t even go near the barn and hightails it out of there. He is officially smarter than me for getting out of this movie sooner rather than later. They decide to leave at night-of course, but he doesn’t have his car keys. As they get out of the car to retrieve the keys, aliens are scampering around the grounds, grab the girl, get on the ship & disappear. Apparently the aliens contacted the Men in Black before coming because soon after the aliens leave, MIB arrive and snatch the idiot grandson, but leave behind the camera. One of the two MIB is the FBI agent from earlier. He clearly got a new job and cares to dress for success. My recap is more interesting than Unaware. Do not watch it.
