I made an epic mistake. I rented Two Night Stand, but what I really wanted to see was #Stuck. Both movies have the same premise: a one-night stand is involuntarily extended because of external circumstances outside of the couple’s control, and hijinks ensue. Two Night Stand may be 86 minutes, but it drags and was enough to make me want to wash the dishes. First, I’m too old for this crap. I felt like I was watching tweens. Is Miles Teller going to high school soon? I remembered Analeigh Tipton from America’s Next Top Model. He is a year older, but she looks like she is robbing the cradle. Second, Two Night Stand pretends that it is revolutionary sexually because the girl initiates the booty call, and the two talk frankly about sex (I’m pretty sure a ton of movies already do exactly that), but it is just another male fantasy. Wouldn’t it be great if a hot girl just wanted to have sex with you and had no career or identity of her own except wanting to be a wife? Oy. Third, Analeigh’s character is an awful person for the majority of the film. She mooches off of her roommate, isn’t marginally competent enough to remember her ID, can’t flush a toilet without wreaking havoc and is just generally awful. Teller works admirably with what he is given and occasionally I had a few laughs at his delivery. Two Night Stand is just wretched, and I would have preferred a movie about the roommate and her boyfriend.