Toni Erdmann is a critically acclaimed film about a German divorced Andy Kauffmanesque father/music teacher and his adult businesswoman daughter. Toni Erdmann depicts their lives and how their lives intersect. When I watched Toni Erdmann on DVD, and every preview was of a film that I saw and loved, I thought it was a good sign, but I did not enjoy watching it.
Toni Erdmann successfully depicted two distinct characters and their relationship. Toni Erdmann accurately represented the frustrating and subtle bias faced by women in the business world. I think that Toni Erdmann implicitly does what The Reader tried to do about generational relationship difficulties as a legacy of Nazism and the Holocaust, especially based on the final scene when the father tells his daughter a story about her grandmother that distinguishes her from her contemporaries. The majority of Toni Erdmann takes place in Romania, and there is an explicit foreign threat to the economic security and lives of the Romanian people that the daughter explicitly participates in and feels no guilt over whereas her father is devastated by that reality. Toni Erdmann seems to suggest that an Andy Kauffman humorous approach to the world is one way to disperse the brutality and reinvigorate authentic human connections instead of the well-trod exchange of business jargon that disguises the brutality of life.
I do not share that historical and regional heritage so I found that crap beyond annoying, especially since Toni Erdmann is 162 minutes long and filled with subtitles. It must be nice to act the fool and be found amusing, not insane or face the threat of being arrested for impersonating important figures. The pause button became my best friend. After I watched Toni Erdmann, I read other reviewers’ opinion of the film, and they seemed to think that the father was imparting his wisdom to his daughter. That is partially true, but I think that Toni Erdmann goes beyond that. The father and daughter are both incredibly uncomfortable in their skin, and they cope in different ways. His coping mechanism, ridiculous wigs, false teeth and fake personas work better whereas her businesswoman, cell phone wielding persona is obviously ill fitting. The best scene is when he catches her in the garden, alone and pretending to be on the cell.
Toni Erdmann works because of what it omits as much as what it includes. The opening scenes imply that at one point, when she was a child, they had fun together, and his trip is kind of an effort to recapture that dynamic because there are too many layers of resentment based on his failure to be an adult parent and husband. He resents that he lost a co-conspirator and playmate, which explains why he is a beloved and effective music teacher. He succeeds at ending their loneliness, rediscovering the joys of their relationship and being accepted and loved by a daughter that rejected him. In the end, she wins because she finds a balance between comfort and discomfort in her own skin and does not need a disguise whereas he still needs a protective layer to interact with the world. She stops trying to fit in and literally stops hiding. Here are my tits, deal with it, boss. Side note: I am never coming to a party thrown by either of them.
Toni Erdmann aggravates me. I am impatient with people who need a gimmick to make a human connection or appreciate a moment. You do not have to be annoying to experience life or be happy. Let the mailman do his damn job and ask him how he is doing. It is not all about you. Your games have real life consequences for people who do not have the luxury of being quirky without devastating effect.