“The Friend” (2024) stars Naomi Watts as Iris, a writer turned editor after suffering from an extended bout of writer’s block. Her former college professor and friend, Walter (Bill Murray), commits suicide and allegedly leaves Apollo (Bing), his Great Dane dog, to her. Apollo is more than she can handle, and her Manhattan apartment prohibits having pets. What’s going to happen to the dog?
Walter is loved and admired as much for his flaws as his features. It is often hard to know the difference, which is often played off as charming or hilarious, not red flag enabling behavior. Iris is a woman used to living for others, and despite teaching a class encouraging her students not to back down from writing about regular women, she cannot seem to assert that imperative in her own life or even be the main character in her own life. Walter dominates her even in death, which is normal because soon his memory and presence will fade. He is not the first man that she lived for. The first is her father, whom she cared for while he died. Now she is living for a dog, which is a comparative improvement to Walter.
“The Friend” adapts Sigrid Nunez’s seventh novel with the same title published in 2018. If her name sounds familiar, it is because her subsequent book, “What Are You Going Through” (2020), was already converted to the big screen and released last year as “The Room Next Door” (2024), another movie featuring a suicide. Both movies deal with friendship and death but also feel like pulled punches in terms of conveying the emotion that comes with grief and death. They are too reserved, but maybe it is because Americans are spectacularly bad with mortality because we must fit existential crises into our paid leaves and schedules. This movie has the advantage over the latter becomes it comes closer to the anger, confrontation and messiness of life in the final act though it never fully surrenders to the emotion.
Watts does an excellent job of making a meal out of a morsel and filling in the blanks with the disruption in her routine because of death. Iris cannot rise to the expectation of being a devoted friend in mourning and a functioning editor and tenant. Everyone knows what has happened, but they do not care. Even at the memorial, they are unrelenting about their needs, not preserving the space for its original purpose. Unlike Iris, Apollo does not budge literally or figuratively. He will not make his grief convenient to avoid upsetting others’ schedules and agendas. Iris transforms from trying to socialize his grief into being palatable to surrendering to his rhythm and imitating him.
Nothing bad happens to Apollo other than losing his human being and aging, but perhaps “The Friend” was more stressful than I was prepared to handle based on seeing the previews. Everyone who loves Walter has more resources, money and room in their apartments, but they chide Iris when she does not rise to their expectations and acquiesce to keeping the dog according to Walter’s theoretical final wish (no proof is ever offered) over having a second-generation rent control apartment in Manhattan. Are all these people supposed to be awful or am I just hyper allergic to anything involving homelessness and animals? They do not want to care for the dog, and they want her homeless. While Iris learns to prioritize herself, it is still distressing that she has not learned how to be wary of those around her and restructure her time.
Elaine (Carla Gugino), a college friend and Walter’s first wife, is the best of Walter’s crew, but their friendship is lined with secrets that more passionate women would interpret as betrayal but works out in the wash. No one articulates why Elaine should not have the dog so if Elaine was a real person, she would get an award for avoiding that problem without being obvious. Tuesday (Constance Wu), Walter’s second wife, is a bit pretentious, but wants Apollo; however, her lifestyle is unaligned with her desire to have a dog. She wants the prestige of associating with Walter’s beloved companion. She correctly picks up on everyone’s resentment and calls it out, but people fake the funk and gaslight her instead of admitting that they cannot stand her. Barbara (Noma Demezweni), the widow, is British, cold and straightforward about her needs and does not fake interest, which is good, but she is unfeeling towards Apollo, so she is dead to me. Val (Sarah Pidgeon), Walter’s surprise daughter from an off-screen baby mama, is helping Iris with Walter’s correspondence, but she makes drunk, surprise visits, and she is a nasty judgmental drunk. Barbara dismisses her as an option, but again the reason is oblique.
“The Friend” is as reverent about Walter’s memory as everyone else, and it feels like a throwback from the bad old days that never left. Barbara alludes to Walter having to take a leave from teaching because of “misconduct,” and that reference never gets elaborated. It seems credible since Elaine and Iris took a class from him and how they all became friends. It is not an issue or rather it is more comfortable to consider him a friend than pull the thread and draw less pleasant conclusions. There are more apples in the tree, but no one is picking them. Or maybe New Yorkers are out Frenching the French. Checks notes. Hmmmm unlikely.
So, who is the title referring to? My money is on Apollo and Iris. A close second comes to all her neighbors who band together so her paralysis does not wind up with her on the street. Apartments are a serious business in Manhattan, and anyone who cares about Iris would know that. Cognitive dissonance may kick in when Ann Dowd appears as Marjorie because the last time that Dowd played a pushy woman offering friendship, it turned out that her character was worshipping the demon Paimon.
Directors and writers Scott McGehee and David Siegel do Manhattan proud and capture the city in all its glory. The least realistic part may be Iris’ constant willingness to answer the door when she is not expecting visitors. The visuals are very naturalistic, and the dialogue does not treat the audience like morons, but they may overestimate us because the information’s significance is in the rear-view mirror long before it has registered, especially in the first act. It is easy to stumble over who everyone is and how they relate to each other. See it onscreen to appreciate its adoring portrait of the most photogenic metropolis in the world but watch it at home with captions on and your finger hovered over the rewind button to fully digest everything. “The Friend” is the kind of film that benefits from repeat viewings.
Many will differ and consider my opinion indelicate or an unnecessary, pornographic detail, but I wanted to know how Walter died. It is implied, but to me, it matters. In death, I want all the information, especially when it was a possible suicide. It told me more about my friend, but there was still ambiguity. “The Friend” lives in the grey, not addressing things head on. You know your temperament, and based on what you would want, then you will know what you want from a movie. It is a great movie, but not every movie is for everyone even if it is mature and intelligent.
