The Den is a found footage film that exclusively unfolds on computer and phone screens about a woman who receives a grant to study a social media site called The Den, which allows users to randomly find strangers to chat online using your webcam. Of course, things go south, and her life turns into a nightmare in this slasher horror film.
If you hated Unfriended, then you definitely should not see The Den, but if you are tempted to see The Den based on the above synopsis, skip it and see Unfriended instead. Both movies have different explanations for the killer’s motives, but Unfriended is a thoughtful masterpiece in comparison to the dreckitude of this abomination. I have a weakness for found footage films, and even I hated this one so I beg you to save eighty-one minutes of your life by not watching this movie. The Den belongs in the torture porn genre, which I try to avoid. While I have never seen one movie in the Saw franchise, I imagine that I accidentally stumbled on the found footage version of it (apologies to Saw fans if my assumptions are completely wrong).
The Den’s main problem is the main character, and the idea that these people spend entirely too much time talking to people that they actually know and who live nearby using screens. There is a scene in which the main character is looking for someone that she knows, but other than one visit to his house, her search is exclusively online. Shouldn’t you know some of his friends instead of questioning some random online associates, who may be virtually close, but know nothing about him on a personal level? Did you go to his job? I just don’t relate to this phenomenon. I can probably count on one hand the number of times that I voluntarily video chatted with people that I know and love and have fingers left. Also there is this boyfriend/guy friend dynamic that is supposed to go somewhere, but is completely extraneous to the plot. It also didn’t help that the main character fairly early in the movie states that she does not like cats. Who spends so much time online and avoids looking at cute cats, but is fine with penis puppetry, rude people and prurient men? I could not bring myself to care for her although as the movie unfolds, she randomly becomes more of a badass then the men in her life. It began to feel like a video game, which may appeal to some people, but sadly not me, and I love filling my women kicking butt quota.
The Den was so bad in the beginning and uneven as it developed that when I finally got interested after a woman survives an attack in her home, and there is a big reveal about the attacker, it was too late. I was already mentally checked out and disgusted by the flimsy excuse to show a variety of banal and typical online perversions. With a more interesting main character and more gradual buildup of tension, I may not have been numb to the experience. Once you start at murder, there really isn’t any way to raise the stakes further. It is pretty easy to figure out and get bored by the modus operandi regardless of how creepy it is. Once the electricity is cut, I’m not exploring. Things escalate too quickly and are clearly linked. Please watch John Carpenter’s Halloween before making any horror movie to learn how to develop pacing and cultivate fear in your viewers.
When we hear the thoughts of the killer to a victim unaware of his role in her trauma, The Den finally grabbed my attention because then we learned a little bit about his attitude and could appreciate the other side more than just a mindless killer with technical expertise. Still as Mike Tyson said, “Everyone has a plan ‘till they get punched in the mouth.” I just don’t buy the motivation once people begin to fight back.
It also doesn’t help that The Den has glaring technical issues. In one scene that is supposed to be unfolding live, the stove says that the time is 9:56, but the phone screen says 11:27. If your phone battery is at 21%, it would probably switch to low battery mode then it would turn off, and you would not be able to video chat any longer. If someone who loves me that I know is credible and being terrorized tells me to get out of my house, and I am at my most physically vulnerable, hell, even if I was at my physical peak, I’m getting out of the house. I’m not investigating weird noises. Once the movie switches from computer screens to phone screens, and things are getting physical, someone is dropping a phone, and it isn’t getting picked back up. If you are one of those Blue Lives Matter folks, this movie is definitely not for you because even cops are in jeopardy in this movie. I thought that cops travelled in twos? If there were even one cop mildly frightened by the killer in this movie, that killer would have to shut up shop. Just no.
The Den is just dreadful. It wants to shock, but only succeeds at appealing to the basest lowest common denominator. I have watched Peter Greenaway films. Shocking is boring. Give me interesting characters and stories so that I’m invested in your little movie. It was a waste of time.