Do you love Sigourney Weaver and/or Michelle Rodriguez? Do you enjoy action crime thrillers? Are you intrigued by revenge fantasies involving forcing someone against his or her will to transition to another gender? Then do not watch The Assignment and do watch John Wick: Chapter 2 and The Skin I Live In.
The Assignment is a dreadful mess, but worse, it is not fun. There are two unfolding stories. Frankie’s story is told in a hacky film noir way to a video camera, but initially we do not know about the recording device. Frankie, played by Rodriguez, is allegedly a great assassin who lives in seedy surroundings complete with femme fatales. The second story unfolds in an insane asylum holding a renown back alley surgeon played by Weaver, who dresses on the masculine spectrum in flashbacks, but usually is in a straitjacket during her interviews with Tony Shaloub. Both feel compelled to tell their revenge story, but neither story is particularly compelling and eventually their stories intersect. There are a lot of disclaimers in the doctor’s story to reassure the transgender community that she is not trying to offend them, but to offend someone, people need to notice that you exist and watch your movie.
I never bought the basic premise that if some dude kills your brother, you take the assassin and make him a woman. It is a big leap no matter how you slice it. Yes, I meant to do that. I get that Weaver is a demented doctor trying to prove that you can’t change someone’s gender by changing his or her genitals, but you would think that if you worked on a story since 1978, it would be a good one, and it is not. There is nothing about this particular assassin that is innately interesting. The fight scenes are just OK. You literally can set your watch to the moment when it occurs to Frankie to get gussied up to trick his targets as an “exotic” (eye roll) hot woman. Lesbian sex scene is on the checklist. The logistics of transitioning are largely brushed over except for one scene, and if you are even vaguely familiar with post-op procedures, you will spend the majority of The Assignment wondering how Frankie is simply functioning and not doubled over in pain. It is just too unrealistic to suspend disbelief and too serious in tone to have fun.
I have watched Weaver in a lot of crap and not regretted it so please trust me when I say that regardless of your level of devotion to her, The Assignment is not worth it. Rodriguez does not make a convincing guy no matter how long she spent in the makeup chair. Oddly enough, her shoulders give her away. Fans of Rodriguez who want to see her naked should probably check out the movie because she gets to do contrasting full frontal shots as a man and a woman otherwise for the fans who are not lookie loos, no.
The Assignment is an annoying chimera of a film: part gangster movie, part mad scientist/Dr. Lechter. Neither part is satisfying or standouts from its genre. The film wants to be a transploitation film, but that is giving it too much credit because at least exploitation flicks are so ridiculous that they become guilty pleasures, and there is no chance of doing that here. It is frankly stunning that so much talent in front of and behind the camera produced such a lukewarm and underwhelming product.