I don’t care or know much about James Bond, but I care immensely about Daniel Craig as James Bond so I saw Spectre opening weekend. Casino Royale and Skyfall were the best entries, and Quantum of Solace was wretched though it inched the story forward. Spectre was solid spectacle with magnificent action sequences from beginning to end, but the story felt forced in its efforts to create a continuum within the Daniel Craig as James Bond universe. I have jokingly referred to Spectre as Petty on Fleek because it is.

SPOILERS

Daddy preferred James to you so you built an evil organization to dominate the world even before Bond knew that he was going to become 007. OK, then, profiler. You do you. At least Spectre did not lose sight of what is important: Daniel Craig looking hot as countless faceless women stroked his naked torso in the opening musical sequence, and he strutted around collapsing rooftops looking fine as hell. I may see it again.
I only had a few complaints. First, Bond has a license to kill and witnessed Bautista literally blind a man with his specially manicured thumbs. After the car accident, double tap shot to the head. I’m just saying. Send Bond a copy of Zombieland. Second, his chick de jour is supposed to be smart, but she decides to leave the safe house and go for a walk in the lonely London streets in the middle of the night before all the people who want to kill her get caught. Um, OK then. Third, Spectre, you kept calling the minor baddie C and hinting that you were going to make a joke that is naughtier in the US than in the UK where saying see you next Tuesday is practically a term of endearment then you punked out at the end. Shame on you! I didn’t ask for it, but you should have brought it. Fourth, maybe don’t cast the minor baddie as the same actor who plays Jim Moriarty in Sherlock because everyone knew that he was bad in your Patriot Act lesson plan, and I needed a bit of suspense. Fifth, M as played by Ralph Fiennes was a badass in the shootout in Skyfall. Spectre, you gave him the weakest fight sequence where the minor baddie literally tripped and killed himself. Did Fiennes piss you off during production? Seriously, work it out you two. Sixth, how was chick de jour even capable of moving and not comatose after getting smacked around by Bautista? Even Bond looked a little woozy after encountering him.
Also am I reading too much into the scene with Bond and the mouse? Was that a little injection of faith and God that I see in my secular visual fantasy?
Spectre may not be as excellent as its predecessors, but it is not Quantum of Solace and is pure popcorn absurd blockbuster fun.