Immediately after Sharknado originally aired on the SyFy network, my zombie mentor urged me to see it. On one hand, he was right about the zombie thing long before The Walking Dead hit the airwaves. On the other hand, I didn’t have cable; life is short; and my various queues are enormous. Prioritizing Sharknado seemed silly. I never dismissed the movie, but I also would not make it happen. If it was supposed to happen, it would be easy, and it actually was. It came to my attention that the first five movies of six Sharknado movies could be streamed on Netflix so I added them to my queue. Then I watched The Meg, which did not hit the spot. I decided to rewatch Jaws, which was great….of course. (Spielberg killed a kid.) Sharknado just seemed thematically right, but two weeks earlier, I noticed that it was going to expire on New Year’s Day. I realized it was now or never, but I did not do what I normally do—schedule it with my other commitments. It did not rise to that level of concern. On December 30, 2018, it suddenly became very urgent to accomplish a task that I had planned to do in February: reorganize my unread bookshelves.
Sharknado is the perfect multitasking movie. It is short and easy to follow because the plot is ridiculous: sharks are attacking people on land using tornadoes to travel yet somehow surviving the velocity and not dying from lack of oxygen. Oddly enough the tornadoes are less integral to the plot than the sharks. It feels like a typical disaster movie though only later installments begin to feel like a spoof movie and purposely inject humor into the franchise. The premise is simple. It unfolds on the beaches of LA and involves a small circle of people. Beverly Hills 90210’s Ian Ziering plays Fin Shepard, a champion surfer, bar owner and divorced dad of two children, the main hero of the franchise. Shepard tries to get his friends, employees and patrons to safety during the crisis while reuniting with his family.
Sharknado plays it mostly straight with tertiary characters providing humorous notes such as a conspiracy theory nut who divulges that he likes pepper jack cheese or the school bus driver who wanted to make it big in Hollywood. I actually enjoyed Cassandra Scerbo, who plays Nova, the bartender, not stripper, who has a vendetta against all sharks and has a crush on Fin. I’ll take my women kicking butt vitamins from wherever I can get them. John Heard must have had serious bills to pay because he appears as a wealthy patron who helps them navigate the flooded highways. Tara Reid plays Fin’s ex, and the biggest surprise is that her character appears in every subsequent movie considering that her performance is not always up to the standards of the SyFy network.
The point of any disaster movie is for the family to be reunited and stronger than ever, and Sharknado strongly adheres to this concept, which is probably the real reason that the movie retains Reid while it does not bode well for better costars who are not family. One guy must be tasty to sharks because he gets bitten before there is any craziness. Basically anyone can get eaten if you’re not a Shepard, which is a shame because there are some annoying Shepards. I’m not saying that I did not like the kids, but the time and place for airing grievances about a relationship with your parent is probably not during multiple shark attacks. In the it’s not right, but it’s ok category, the way that the movie gets rid of the ex-wife’s inconvenient and obnoxious boy friend is priceless.
Sharknado works because it never stops the insanity, and the end is so over the top in terms of being impossible and completely in line with the movie’s ethos that it works. It is unapologetic nonsense from beginning to end without blinking, and the complete serious waiver of reality while sounding dead serious about a fictional problem works. I suspect that I would have loved it more if I were more familiar with LA’s topography. It successfully establishes a formula for subsequent movies to follow, especially the explosive final confrontation and shout out to The Evil Dead.
While I would not make it a priority, if you like bad movies and need something mindless playing while you are doing something else, Sharknado is for you. If you like Sharknado, then I would definitely demand that you see Sharknado 2: The Second One, which is the best one in the series then call it a wrap. Also shout out to Zierling for being willing to do anything to financially provide and get medical insurance for his family. He was even guest starring as a Chippendales dancer.
