“One Night Only” (2026) is like the purge for sex between unmarried people. A mandate criminalizes extramarital sex and monitors activity through a bio sensor, which like a traffic light, is red when it is not permitted and green when it is. When the best laid plans go awry for Owen (Callum Turner) and Allie (Monica Barburo), they keep bumping into each other while looking for the right one. Will they figure out that they are perfect for each other? A great premise is wasted on two boring characters with almost no chemistry and will leave you doubting whether Turner is even attractive even if you came in a fan or Barburo can even sing.
Everything except the main characters is the best part of “One Night Only.” Imagine watching a Brooke Shields’ sitcom (respectfully). It is clearly meant to be satire about how the government is invading people’s private lives to enforce their agenda of promoting marriage and children. The production design is phenomenal with graffiti, subway ads and television clips popping off about the one night and repealing the mandate. The cast is stacked: Julia Fox, Molly Ringwald, Michelle Hurd and Roma Maffia (“Law & Order” in the house), LeVar Burton, Ziwe, Maya Hawke and plenty more not credited until the close. The world is well fleshed out, vibrant and alive unlike the main characters. You will not want the supporting characters to go away because they are your only opportunity for excitement. Every woman is scantily clad, and all the men are groomed. Writer Travis Braun’s second feature film confuses running, bike riding, and subway rides with narrative tension and momentum. It is called running the clock. Watching various people passionately maul each other gets a bit stale as the movie unfolds, and unfortunately the leads are not interesting enough to raise the pulse.
The most surprising aspect of “One Night Only” is discovering that Barbaro actually can’t sing after her amazing performance as Joan Baez in “A Complete Unknown” (2024). Initially it is easy to rationalize that she is supposed to sound bad because she records jingles for drug prescription commercials draining the goodness from memorable songs. The best acting is when actors listen to her sing with a look of awe on their faces. Now that is professionalism. It feels as if this movie is actually a thinly disguised excuse for Barburo to sing the entire movie and promote her as a musical artist. Her character is a romantic who wants to meet a partner, not have a hook up. In a revolutionary move, the gay best friend who gives her a makeover is not a gay man, but her queer roommate (Quintessa Swindell) who dates women. The movie rests on Barburo looking amazing in that sparkly dress and having no nip slips. The double-sided tape should be credited as a supporting actor and get an Oscar. Shout out to commitment to the bit because even when she changes out of the dress into something more practical, she still wears a white shirt with one button clasped. The stylists and costume designer Jacqueline Demeterio understood the assignment. Skin, skin, skin! If the movie was set in winter, no one would watch it.
Turner’s New York accent is not great. His character is a big fan of delayed gratification, i.e. is also a romantic. He even considers spending the night with his mom (Ringwald) instead of joining the meat market rat race, which would be weird without the mandate considering she is on a date (Burton). He owns a pizzeria, which is his entire personality. It is allegedly good because the boxes are everywhere, which means he is good and actually good in bed. See him knead dough with two fingers, lick the sauce with those two fingers and more sensual aspects better left to “Maddie’s Secret” (2025) because here it just seems like a health code violation.
Owen and Allie separately attempt to join in the hedonistic fun, but fate keeps intervening to stop them from acting outside of character. So the mandate actually works y’all because the one-night stands wind up resulting in perfect matches with lots of chemistry, and the real revolution is not having sex. OK. If you are a perv, there is no real nudity, and while sex is rampant on the edges, do not expect anything center stage. It is a movie about a national orgy without the orgy. No movie chain porn for you.
If movie goers could pick their own adventure, you would follow Gorgeous Vivian (Ella Loudon), a confident, striking, statuesque woman who crosses their path and makes their nights memorable. As she gets to know each of them, she realizes they are more effort than they are worth, and her patience begins to wear down. Same, queen, same. Her final onscreen line will make anyone want to go with her. Loudon commands the camera in such a way that it will retroactively become obvious what “One Night Only” is largely missing: actors who can convey what they enjoy about the night. Imagine the surprise when people find out that Loudon is Daniel Craig’s daughter! She pulled an Emma Stone and dyed her hair from blonde to red. So being sexy, magnetic and a good actor is possibly genetic or is it nurture? It is only her fourth feature. Um, casting directors, get her bigger parts. GV is not the only character who does not sound as if they were born in the US. It feels as if a ban on sex would lead to prohibition like countermeasures and a vast repatriation for those affected.
Charles Gillespie and Mateo Ray were the funniest parts of “One Night Only.” Gillespie goes all out complete with excellent physicality. Ray appears more frequently and plays a teen aiming for the stars with his crass jokes. It is like the second coming of a Seventies sitcom like “Three’s Company.” (Side note: would it still be funny now? No idea. Not going to find out. Nope.)
Is “One Night Only” propaganda? Because the zeitgeist is full of allegations that men are having a loneliness crisis, women are staying single and childless, and young people do not have sex or take chances? Also, with everyone in the movie proudly being exhibitionists and explicitly proud how quick they can have sex, um, is this good sex? It is particularly surreal to watch so soon after “I Want Your Sex” (2026). Were any sex therapists, preferably women, consulted? Paging Dr. Ruth from beyond or viral sexual health educator Seema Anand who often references the Kama Sutra. The movie promotes romance, but ideally that would also result in good sex. Though everyone seems uniformly satisfied and enthusiastic, the approach seems very homogenous and juvenile. Lately movies about sex are not doing a great job of selling the concept. There seems to be a conflict off screen that needs to be worked out before putting pen to paper then throwing on the big screen.
“One Night Only” will have you wishing that it would hurry up and finish, which is the opposite message of the movie. Other than some excellent shots of New York City, it feels like a lot of buildup for nothing. Is it a rom com if it is not funny or romantic or movie goers are not terribly invested in the leads getting together? I was more invested in the poor price gouging bodega owner. Justice for her. This movie would be an excellent candidate for a remake and rewrite.
