Left Behind (2014)

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Action, Fantasy, Sci-Fi

Director: Vic Armstrong

Release Date: October 3, 2014

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I feel privileged to live to see Left Behind (2014) on the big screen. It is a REMAKE of a Christian film that wasn’t that great in the first place, which in turn was based on a Christian book series, and stars NICOLAS CAGE. If that isn’t a formula for the perfect bad movie, I don’t know what is. It helps to have old friends who actually want to see it and to be familiar with the Christian eschatological genre promulgated by Christian fundamentalists (cue nostalgia for my childhood). Everyone should be excited to be there (there were 8 people at a 12:45 p.m. Saturday showing at a major multiplex Boston movie theater). Apparently Cage was reminded of his glory days in Con Air because he is back in the sky and facing peril. Left Behind is less apocalyptic, which I found disappointing, and more Airport 2014 now with no nuns because they got raptured as the majority of the story deals with a ridiculous cadre of passengers. When not focusing on the plane’s perils, the other half of the story focuses on Cage’s movie daughter as she melodramatically deals with her mom’s new faith (played by Caroline in the City’s Lea Thompson) and the sudden unnamed phenomenon that leads to widespread rioting, plane, bus and car crashes. No one says THE Rapture, and we don’t get an anti-Christ. The acting is wretched-even Cage uses pointed nostril inhaling to react to his daughter’s questioning. The plot is especially laughable in the last half-hour. “What is she doing? Did she become Wonder Woman or have some random runway expertise so she can help?” Even the Christians in Left Behind (2014) kind of suck–it was like the C plot of The Leftovers where everyone is uniformly awful. The good news is that even Left Behind (2014) does not like bigots-stop racially profiling Muslims on planes, people! Seeing Left Behind (2014) did inspire me to possibly rewatch its better predecessors Christian apocalyptic movies such as The Gathering (actually a good movie); The Moment After (the first is better than the sequel and even though different creators, I always considered it the unofficial sequel to The Gathering); the four Apocalypse movies (the first one is the worse, but it lays the foundation for better sequels starring former A list actors turned B list and even one actor later became a star on Lost!); the 1970-80s movie series A Distant Thunder, A Thief in the Night, Image of the Beast and The Prodigal Planet (so dated, but respect your elders); The Omega Code movies (really wretched by any standard, but come on, Michael York as the anti-Christ-how can you say no) and of course the meek and mild, eminently skippable Left Behind series starring Kirk Cameron. It isn’t worth the ticket price, but it is so bad that it is good. Come for the apocalypse, stay for the laughs.

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