I don’t like rom coms anymore, and I’m not the kind of viewer who is attracted to holiday themed movies. I love Emilia Clarke as a human being or the Mother of Dragons on Game of Thrones, but I actually don’t think that she is a good actor after seeing Terminator Genisys and Solo: A Star Wars Story. As much as I would like to believe that I’ve abandoned my Anglophile youth born from being raised by someone who enjoyed the perks of colonization, I think that Henry Golding is a beautiful man with a beautiful voice. I have no idea if he is a good actor. I enjoyed him in A Simple Favor and Crazy Rich Asians, which I only watched for representation and love of the cast, but if I’m honest, I’m not sure if I was appreciating his acting ability. So why would I want to see Last Christmas?
Last Christmas cast Michelle Yeoh. Yeoh played Golding’s mother in Crazy Rich Asians. In my imagination, Last Christmas was somehow related to Crazy Rich Asians, and I’m a completist so I wanted to know how Yeoh and Golding would be connected even though intellectually I knew that it was unlikely they would because of that prior association, but it was some casting/marketing ploy, which worked! I was successfully manipulated by the big commercial movie industry. Damn it! A friend was interested in seeing it so we were locked in for a trip to the theater in its second week. Curiosity killed the cat, and I just meowed.
Last Christmas is about Kate/Katrina, who appears to be living restlessly, recklessly and thoughtlessly, but not enjoying it. She meets Tom, who helps her rediscover joy in the world around her so she can become reinvested in her relationships, her gift and her community, but what is his deal? He is the only guy not annoyed by her or who wants to hit it and quit it. Emma Thompson was one of the screenwriters, and I dubbed her the anti-Carrie Fisher after seeing Bridget Jones’s Baby. She should keep her day job because she is a better actor. Oh wait, nope, in this movie’s case, maybe she should have given her day job to someone else because it is one of those performances where I found myself simultaneously laughing, occasionally uncomfortably, and looking for a Yugoslavian person to ask, “Was that racist?” because I don’t go here, y’all. I don’t know. Let me know. I’m trying to learn and grow here.
Last Christmas is not a good movie, but it means well in the midst of all its mess so the only thing saving it from me completely panning it is that the end had me a little misty eyed, the deft, manipulative bastards, AND I went into the movie knowing SPOILERS (it was accidental, not intentional) yet they still got me! My friend was straight up crying, and she figured it out a few minutes before a big plot twist reveal. They exploited our bleeding, liberal hearts then gave us a trite happy ending! I’m supposed to be immune to these shenanigans!
Last Christmas wants to be a commercial movie and hold really heavy themes such as xenophobia, death, trauma, problem of assimilation for immigrants versus pride in origins, self-medicating and homelessness lightly while dealing with them, but this movie is no Brittany Runs a Marathon. It lacks the rhythm and fearlessness of taking a trope and subverting it at the risk of ruining the levity. Instead the film coyly pushes these themes as far back as it could and focuses on the superficial mess waiting until late in the movie to reveal more about the character than she is a thoughtless klutz who is inconsiderate and irresponsible, but in that adorable way that movies reserve for attractive leads in a rom com so it translates into endearing. So when the protagonist begins to gain substance, it feels a little random and out of the blue if you were not paying attention to all the clues. Points for the multicultural casting, which seems to be a British requirement for movies, but also was a point that the movie was trying to make. It is the anti-Brexit film. What isn’t a British thing? Saying Merry Christmas instead of Happy Christmas. What the hell? Don’t change for US.
Random note of anger to Last Christmas: why was the protagonist so into Christmas? She chooses to work as an elf. Her family is the opposite of people who celebrate good cheer, but we don’t know that until the middle of the film so initially it seems like her day job choice was just a seasonal way to pay the bills, but after we meet her family, and I actually thought that the introduction of her father was the best crafted scene in Last Christmas, it seems like a deliberate choice that could have rounded out the film, but we never get that speech or story explaining it. In a movie with so many problems, it may seem like an odd feature to single out, but I do think that it was the one element that could have organized the clutter.
In retrospect, I’m the jackass who did not know going in that Last Christmas would feature a George Michael soundtrack, not just the titular song. I will never learn. I watched Keanu and walked away with zero lessons from that experience. A film with such awesome lead vocals is hiding a multitude of cinematic sins. For instance, can someone give Yeoh a better job? She makes the whole thing work, and I still love her, but I’m fairly certain that grown ass people don’t act like that. Just, no. Everyone has bills.
I’m ready to revise my opinion of Clarke. Maybe she is not a good actor when she has to use an unfamiliar accent, but when she has one less thing to worry about, she can keep the ball afloat. She also seems really comfortable acting in other languages, which is kind of cool. She was utterly charming and engaging without winking at the screen once to indicate that the material was crap. She acted as if she was in the best movie ever and gave it her all. It is also possible that she was personally invested and related to the role because of her own journey. Good news: Golding goes shirtless. Bad news: you won’t be able to enjoy it.
I would love someone to remake Last Christmas because a more fearless filmmaker and writer could have made a meatier dish from this story. It has all the ingredients to be a substantial, textured story, but ultimately pulls punches and aims to be reassuring and optimistic rather than lingering in the uncomfortable moments so the reward is more resonant and savory. Instead of embracing the messiness, it skirted around it and played it safe. You can wait to see it at home, but if you love seeing London on the big screen like I enjoy seeing the Mahattan skyline, then get to the movie theater, but realize that there are probably better films that feature London which you could spend your money on.
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Last Christmas feels as if Thompson decided to do a modern retelling of A Christmas Story with a dash of The Sixth Sense and Return to Me, a David Duchovny and Minnie Driver rom com.