Jodie Foster would be so disappointed in me. I actually enjoyed Justice League. Perhaps the DC Extended Universe has been so disappointing for so long that I have lowered my expectations accordingly and am finally having a good time, Steve Mnuchin be damned. I actually paid to see the movie in theaters because I unofficially think of Justice League as the sequel to Wonder Woman even though it is actually the fifth movie in the DCEU.
Justice League is the first DC Comics movie that was able to sustain its momentum for all three acts and was actually funny, which may be due to Joss Whedon’s 11th hour involvement in production (sincere condolences and offer of virtual hugs to the Snyder family). I actually liked all the characters, even the villain albeit initially his name confused me. Isn’t Steppenwolf a band, a theater or a book or something? It was as if everyone agreed that they were tired of brooding in separate corners and decided to have fun. If I had to choose between Avengers: Age of Ultron and Justice League, I would not hesitate to toss my Marvel friends in that particular entry in the ongoing saga aside for DC’s heroes in this installment.
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Wonder Woman is still the best. Even when she is getting stomped into the ground, she really does seem like a god. Does she bleed? No. Yet her plausible physical invulnerability does not mean that she cannot feel. She is probably the most psychologically stable and normal person in the crew while not being a saint and capable of feeling negative emotions as well, but she is never ruled by ego. Her primary goal is to preserve life and because of her age, she has a broader perspective of what is important. It is thrilling that she is an Amazon and has the blood of the old gods. She is the best fighter, has the best theme music and would be the best person to brunch with.
Side note: dude, the Amazons! They stay ready, and when they got their asses handed to them, I realized that Steppenwolf was no joke. I need a movie just set in Themyscira. Also FYI I remember no one except Diana’s mom. She really made the tough call to close the cave and basically left all her sisters to die, and THEY WERE HAPPY TO DO IT! Not one punk ass broke formation and tried to save herself. I would want to hang out with them during the zombie apocalypse. If someone got bitten, they would just speak up right away and quarantine herself. I know that Diana does not want to be her mother, but that is a losing battle. You already tell great stories like her so step your game up. Also I think that she needs a Thor: Ragnarok lesson while getting to keep the gauntlets, but understanding that she does not need them. For those unfamiliar with Diana’s people, imagine a team of Eowyn’s from Lord of the Rings except more bad ass: stronger, better skilled, cooler outfits.
I’m enjoying Ben Affleck’s Batman. He understands that he is crazy, is way in over his head and is always doing the most even when it is not necessary. He’s too old for this shit, but with old age comes the willingness to be apologetic and take responsibility for his crap. He is trying to become a human being and realizes that an alien and a demigod can probably help him in that department. He is self-deprecating and puffed up. I don’t know what twangy accent he adopted or why. Did Wayne suddenly come from Texas oilfields? It is hilarious that Alfred is still pressed to get grandbats, but Affleck’s Bruce is reaching for the Bengay, not the Trojans. He is trying to make amends from his major screwups from Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice.
Side note: I loved the opening scene after the criminal realized that he was just bait and wanted to discuss the weather with Batman. He was so disturbed by the turn of events, he did not even mind that Batman left him tied up on a roof. During an alien invasion, everyone is on the same side, and that felt authentic. Also the casual exploding penguins reference means that Affleck’s Batman is definitely linked to Michael Keaton’s Batman and possibly Val Kilmer and George Clooney’s considering the Robin shout out in Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. Putting Danny Elfman in charge of the soundtrack lends credibility to this theory.
Is Barry Allen/The Flash just an innately endearing character or am I just blessed to constantly have great actors playing him? I love Grant Gustin’s Flash so I was not sure if I would be salty regardless of how Ezra Miller performed, but I totally wasn’t. Gustin’s Barry is someone with an optimistic, social disposition who can succumb to depression based on tremendously awful life events. Miller’s Barry is socially awkward, perhaps because of a mental disability, but not necessarily, yet he is eager to overcome it. He calls himself an “accident,” but does not feel negatively or optimistically about his situation. It just is. Also he is as close to an everyman whom the viewer can relate to if we were in similar extraordinary circumstances. His reaction to each icon is hilarious, particularly Superman. I think that he has the same theme music in Justice League as he does on the CW show. Has it always been his theme music? I’m late to the DC Comics party so I’m clueless.
Side note: I even liked his dad! Billy Crudup usually plays morally questionable characters, which works in this case considering that his character is in prison, but I also adored how he wants the best for his son. Also Miller and Crudup looked related!
Khal Aquaman is hot and rugged fun. I feel like his story was too abbreviated, but because Jason Mamoa is a goddamn professional, he made every moment count. If I had to equate him with a Marvel character, he is definitely Thor: athletically gifted, socially raucous and casually powerful. Also did I mention that he is hot. Intellectually I understand that he is a real human being who actually looks like that, but is he? Were GMOs involved? Super soldier serum? When he strips to go into the ocean, I must confess that I wanted him to discard a few more items for the sake of artistic integrity. Also during the final fight scenes, he seemed to be flying. Is Aquaman supposed to fly? I’m not complaining. I just accepted that now Aquaman apparently flies or at least air surfs because Mamoa exists so anything is possible. If Aquaman suddenly could bend things with his mind and got super speed, I would just accept that this is what we’re doing now. A trident has four prongs. Sure. 2 +2=bread. Cool. I’m on board.
Side note: I have no real sense of life for Atlanteans. I actually had no problem with the air bubble of communication, but Amber Heard’s clapping powers were anti-climatic. Hopefully he’ll get a standalone movie, and it won’t suck. Maybe I’ll finally understand why Amber Heard is talented because I don’t get it. I’m Team Amber, but only because of her life, not because of her career.
I have zero knowledge about Cyborg, but I’m always a little salty when the one black character is never really a human being plus, but always a human being with conditions or an animal humanoid (side eye to Suicide Squad). Our powers aren’t cool in many films. Casting Joe Morton as his father gave me a lot of Terminator: Judgment Day vibes, but Ray Fisher did a great job endearing me to his character. When his tech went haywire, I never doubted his reassurances or considered him suspect. When he got drawn and quartered, I was genuinely worried about him.
I have a soft spot in my heart for DC Comics’ villains. Steppenwolf just wants to make his room (the planet) comfortable and hang out with his mom, who happens to be a power obliterating force…oops. He reminds me of Bane just trying to make his little girl happy. I don’t completely understand how Parademons work. I thought that after losing in battle, the losers get transformed into them and was surprised that the Amazons or the random Russian family didn’t transform (shout out to the little girl who was ready to fight them with an off brand can of Raid). I’m OK with it. I just don’t get it.
I’m sorry, but the weak point of the movie is Superman. Was Henry Cavill, who is usually a good actor (I’m not making that up, right?) even there? Even his chest seemed CGI. I was never suspicious of this character until now, which worked in terms of the resurrection plot, but not in terms of his rehabilitation and the humorous scenes with The Flash. I was getting heavy uncanny valley creepy vibes. He was unbearably stiff, and I just wanted him gone. I did like that he resurrected a way better fighter than when he died. Yes we need Superman like we need cats so mice don’t sniff around our home, but the actual Superman is (obviously) less satisfying than a fluffy baby. (Kal-El hasn’t always been on Earth so why does his death trigger Steppenwolf’s return? I suspect that it is because of Lex Luthor’s shenanigans in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but I don’t care enough to look it up.)
Side note: if you want to prevent Pet Cemetery, get Lois Lane first, but I will sign a waiver because then we would not get a great fight. Martha Kent’s thirsty comment was completely passive aggressive, and I believe that she meant it, but was playing it off as if she is old. No, you’re not, you magnificent shady bitch! Martha needed to take out life insurance policies on the men in her family ages ago then you don’t have to worry about foreclosure. How are they going to explain Clark reappearing at the same time as Superman?
There were two random plot threads that went nowhere. What happened to the landlord that was kidnapped by aliens? Is that supposed to be explained in the final credits scene? Steppenwolf says that he needs to find something else in addition to the Unity—something associated with the gods yet when he meets Wonder Woman, he does not seem excited. What did I miss? Also the hair department needs to do better with the woman characters because they seem to have the same stylist. Women can have different hairstyles.
It is weird to see Spiderman’s boss as Commissioner Gordon. I love JK Simmons, but I don’t think that I can get used to this. Visually the last scene of the destruction turned beautiful still crept me out. I could not be less psyched to see that Lex Luthor is still around even if he is giving jobs to unemployed Robert Palmer video vixens. Green Lantern is another story. I actually have confidence that story can be revisited without having PTSD over Ryan Reynolds’ incarnation.
Justice League was a lot of fun even with Paramount’s refusal to let Cavill be great. The DCEU seems to have finally found its footing and let’s hope that it continues with its upward trajectory.