The Family Stone should not exist or it should have lasted a half hour until the couple inevitably broke up because his family is so awful that no woman in her right mind would want to join it, and he sees his girlfriend through their eyes. Sarah Jessica Parker should have run from this thankless role because only Tea Leoni from Spanglish can pull off likeability while being painted as an epic shrew. The whole movie is predicated on the fact that Sarah Jessica Parker’s character and The Family Stone are really wonderful if they could just shift a few factors and get past some initial awkwardness tension, except they are all awful in wonderfully unique ways. Basically the movie really wants to be about how the two straight brothers somehow need to hand-me-down the perfect person for the next brother while somehow not ruining the sibling relationship for anyone. If only I really believed that Luke Wilson should have ended up with Sarah Jessica Parker. The supporting evidence for their perfectness is that he isn’t always awful to her, cares about her feelings and got her to loosen up, which is the criteria for something, but a lifetime of love seems a bit too much, too soon. Their relationship seems to be an epic romance compared to the bill of goods I’m expected to buy with the pairing of Dermot Mulroney and Claire Danes, who plays Sarah Jessica Parker’s sister. I don’t care how much they lovingly gaze at each other because other than that and a story about a guy and a log supposed to symbolize something deeper about their personalities, I don’t see it. There is zero chemistry or sexual tension with ANY couple in The Family Stone except Diane Keaton with herself as she contemplates different matches and sex lives-imagined or hypothetical. Cool mom trope-check! I’m not even sure why there are two Stone sisters-only Rachel McAdams is needed. The other one is pretty much an afterthought. Can I ask Hollywood to stop making the following scenes: all the food gets ruined, somehow that makes everything better and everyone laughs humorously over the mess. I have poverty PTSD, and that scene angers me. (Side note: it is also one of the reasons that I hate Jess in The New Girl. See the Thanksgiving episode where her parents visit.) If you want a Christmas movie about an awful family that you will still love, skip The Family Stone and watch A Christmas Tale or Un conte de Noël. The French are just way better at dealing with awful family dynamics and sex