Do I Sound Gay? is an engaging performative documentary directed and starring David Thorpe. Thorpe uses his personal experiences to explore whether or not someone’s voice can indicate that they are gay or not. The short answer is ultimately no, but as the film unfolds, Thorpe hits on some unflinching subjects: why does his voice bother him and why is he attracted to “masculine” voices.
Do I Sound Gay? has some heartbreaking answers. One gay man theorizes that he is attracted to men that hate him, and another suggests that part of being attracted to men is being attracted to masculinity. Another blames latent misogyny. Self-hating and as an act of self-preservation from homophobic abuse are high on the list. It is extremely difficult to admit one’s underlying issues so openly, especially since most people hesitate to analyze the motivations behind attraction. When those motivations seem like an extension of societal condemnation that they daily defy, it is a concession that on some level, the haters won.
I was particularly excited when Do I Sound Gay? explored media images of gay men or men with voices that can be considered gay and largely confirmed something that I always noticed. In movies, including Disney cartoons, they are murderous villains. In contrast, TV shows such as Hollywood Squares elevated campy, flamboyant gay men. Don’t trust them/aren’t they great are confusing signals to send to viewers, but it further explains Thorpe’s ambiguous feelings.
You should not think that Do I Sound Gay? is only a maudlin walk down a dreary road of oppression because Thorpe manages to keep things fairly light with personal vignettes, fluffy cats and interviews with various celebrities such as Margaret Cho, Tim Gunn, George Takei, Don Lemon, Dan Savage, David Sedaris. Many viewers and critics complain that Do I Sound Gay? was not substantive enough, but I found the film engaging while I was concerned and relieved that Thorpe was able to exorcise his self-hating proclivities. The documentary deals with a lot of thorny issues in an elegant and amusing fashion. The only warning is that there are some unavoidable blurred clips of gay porn and some explicit language so don’t watch the movie if you don’t want to be exposed to it.
Side note: I actually love the voice because it reminds me of my hometown, NYC. As a woman, I occasionally find myself slipping into that cadence when I want to put people at ease or trying to maintain a light atmosphere. If I’m speaking to someone with that voice, I involuntarily mirror it-not mimic because I’m not trying! The first gay man that I knew, and the only man that I can definitively say is the best man that I have ever known other than Jesus, did not have that voice. Even though I have considered it as a possible indicator that someone is gay, I also reasoned that it could be a sign of a certain level of education, socioeconomic factors or region. I’ve casually remarked, “Either he is gay or Southern/British. I don’t know.” In my world, having that voice gives you more credit than the average person automatically gets so I suppose that I have a positive bias. Keeping that unearned credit is determined by a person’s actions and character.