If you are wondering whether or not American Assassin is worth watching for Michael Keaton and/or Sanaa Lathan, no. I saw the previews and was intrigued, but when some nameless young guy appeared to be the star, I waited for the DVD, and in retrospect, that was more attention than this movie deserved. Why do movies always do this? Why are you trying to make him a thing? I should have been able to tell from the previews that appeared on the DVD that American Assassin was not going to be good.
American Assassin is about a poorly introduced man who lost his parents at an early age (Batman?) then loses his girlfriend in a terrorist attack and wants revenge. You know that the film is bad when I question why they did not go together to get drinks to celebrate. They don’t have a towel set up on the beach so how does he know where to meet her. She is just going to awkwardly stand in some random patch of sand near the ocean waiting for him to come back. I kept waiting for the plot twist to be that he was groomed to be a spy from childhood, but nope, he is just not a good person to stand near. His path intersects with the government, and Amanda Waller recruits him because of his amazing test scores (SATs?), but he is too emotional and unpredictable. Everyone who is a Muslim is vaguely untrustworthy to downright evil. There is a dash of evil Russians. Don’t Breathe did the car scene better. Sorry, not sorry, but the villain is lame, and the attempt to make the dynamic a sibling rivalry thing felt rushed and ill conceived. The soundtrack occasionally was reminiscent of The X-Files theme song. There are only two cool moments: “Who holds the blade?” and after one hour and thirteen minutes, we get a great special effect at the denouement.
American Assassin seems torn between being a global, slick spy thriller rooted in international reality and an empty, spy action film, but it solidly lands on me not caring what it is other than a considerable waste of my time, but a great way to catch up on Facebook and making lists. Skip American Assassin, a charisma free action film, and just watch Skyfall instead. Even Keaton chewing up the scenery literally and Lathan’s smoothness can’t save this movie. If you do decide to just throw away one hour and fifty-two minutes of your life, don’t watch the bonus interview, which managed to make me think less of the film, which is a first. The actors are clearly drunk-happy for them, sad for me. You’re working, guys.