On January 14, 2018, Sharon Stone rose to classic Hollywood iconic fabulousness during an interview with CBS Sunday Morning’s Lee Cowan when she laughed in his face after he asked if she was ever sexually harassed in Hollywood. Stone has never really gotten a chance to headline a movie though she has had memorable roles in Casino and Basic Instinct. So when I heard that she was the star of All I Wish, a movie directed and written by a woman who got a successful second act, I knew that I would check it out. Everything else that I heard about the movie made it seem tailor made for me, but it was a pack of lies: a middle aged woman who cares for her mother decides to take a financial risk, embark on a second career. The romance thread sounded incidental when it is central to the entire plot.
All I Wish follows Senna, a fashion designer, on her 46th through 52nd birthday-no other day, just her birthday, a narrative device that gets old fast. Each year is punctuated by a confessional that presumably appears in a documentary about the designer after she becomes a success from women who may or may not play an important character in the film, may or may not be alive when the confessional is being filmed and may or may not have been introduced in the film yet when she appears in the confessional. These confessionals are about what each of these women wishes for on their birthdays, and they are supposed to be poignant reflections. We see how her life changes from career stunted to huge success, from a Samantha who does not believe in love to finding the one, Adam, played by Tony Goldwyn who is most famous for playing Fitz on Scandal, but I found his character more appealing in The Belko Experiment (I hate Fitz). She always spends it with her mother, played by Ellen Burstyn, and her best friend, Darla, played by Liza Lapira, which gets unrealistic after Darla has a kid, whom we don’t see until the end of the film. It is basically a rom com for older people with the career as a superficial afterthought. I liked the Shopaholic book series, and this movie did nothing for me.
The best part of All I Wish is the end when Senna says, “A moment when all of my screw ups and heart aches would fade into the background, and who I was meant to be would just emerge. I got my moment.” Stone’s delivery of this line is perfection, and if the entire film were infused with this attitude as the credible trajectory of this character’s development, I would have loved it. Unfortunately Senna is a hot mess, but somehow because of her innate talent, she is a late blooming success. We never see how. Talent does not equal success. Lawyers don’t have the ability to get you approved for a loan if your credit is in the toilet on the same business day.
I actively began to dislike Senna when she pitches a fit because Adam does not do something that she actually told him that she hates and when she tells him to handle something then criticizes how he handles it. I began to hate Adam when he responds to these moments in polar opposite ways. Dude, you signed a waiver at that point. When you see what he does towards the end of the movie, you’ll agree that he is trash, not a dream. Also inexplicably at the end of the movie, he jokingly keeps threatening to hit Senna in the face. Um, it would be funny if any part of the movie was genuinely funny, but since it isn’t, and that actually happens in real life, can we not.
Do you know the music that accompanies eCards or that plays in 80s sitcoms? Imagine that as the obtrusive soundtrack to All I Wish. There are two characters who are clearly sick of Senna’s crap or exploiting her, but later they appear at her birthday celebration or help her move forward in her career, which is the literal opposite of how they are introduced to the audience. It is still unclear to me what Darla and her husband, Steve, do for a living that they worked with Adam, a lawyer. Details matter!
Here is an unexpected surprise: Steve, played by Jason Gibson, seemed like the most realistic character in All I Wish. He looks like he should be a stripper, but he isn’t a meathead and is a thoughtful dude. You can see how he would end up being someone’s husband because he is the most mature character in the movie. He gently hands out shots, shows zero resentment and understands how essential Senna is to Darla’s life so he incorporates her into their home. I know people like Steve. They make my life better, and when people say that men are trash, I defend them and say no. Just because our personal experience may not be great, doesn’t mean that Steves aren’t out there. They do exist. Kudos to Gibson for capturing those sensitive men in his brief performance. May the blessings of Channing Tatum’s disproportionate career success to actual talent ratio fall upon Gibson.
All I Wish is dreckitude. If you love rom coms, maybe you won’t find it as annoying as I did, but I highly doubt it. Stone and the rest of the cast deserve better. No wonder this film never appeared in theaters.