When I heard that yet another remake of A Star Is Born was going to be released in theaters, I resolved to watch all of the movies in one sitting at home and not pay to see it in theaters. Engaging in A Star Is Born marathon is not necessarily an easy feat. It is hard to accumulate all the movies—I had to get the first three from the library. Each movie is long, and I decided to watch them in chronological order, which means that A Star Is Born (1976) was the third of four movies that I watched. I was hyped after watching Judy Garland’s version and refreshed because I gave myself an intermission, a nap. I love Barbra Streisand, have always enjoyed her movies and respect Kris Kristofferson as a human being.
A Star Is Born (1976) was the worst of the four movies. The movie’s initial revisions sound great on paper. Both stars share the same medium, music, which means that the movie can show and not talk about how the has been star is actually talented. We can finally see it. It is more realistic in its depiction of his unacceptable, polarizing behavior. The leads are hot. Kristofferson looks like he knows that he is the best. Streisand’s skin is glowing. The costume design is perfect—apparently the legend just turned out her closet, but if you look too long, it also has a 70s inspired Star Wars look. Paging Han Solo and Luke Skywalker. The camera work has a frenetic, documentary feel.
A Star Is Born (1976) does do a great job of implicating the music industry for being complicit in the has been’s destruction because they just want him working and never make the connection that his behavior wouldn’t be bad if he was sober, but they keep feeding him drugs. It is the only movie that explicitly indicts the industry for human sacrifice. He is self-medicating out of artistic boredom from doing the same music.
A Star Is Born (1976) also feels like a horror movie with the media and the public like a horde of cannibals eager to rip apart anyone who does not bend to their whims after receiving their favors. The atmosphere of constant oppression makes it seem as if fame is like the curse from The Ring. If you don’t pass it on to the next victim, it will destroy you. The has been unwittingly transmits it to the ascending star. You can already see the machine wanting to grind her down when she expresses displeasure about the staging.
Unfortunately the first forty something minutes of the one hundred forty one minute movie is the rock star acting like an asshole, and there are no gradations to his assholic behavior. He may never be on time, but you could set a watch to his tantrums: curse out the audience, fist fight, do something self destructive preferably with a motorized vehicle, rinse, repeat, yawn. Here is the worst part: I didn’t think that he was talented. I hated the music. He had no idea how incredibly fortunate he was that everyone was delusional and thought that his music was good. His behavior actually annoyed me more because he should have happily kept playing the old stuff before people woke up and realized that they were always wrong. The Halloween masks completely took me out.
In spite of completely disliking this version of the has been as an artist, I actually related to him quite a bit. Anyone who can walk around with a bucket of KFC and brings his own drinks can sit with me. Instead of alcohol, I’m always furtively carrying around a bottle of Coke Zero then ask for a glass of ice. We like what we like, and if you can’t offer it, why should I be unhappy. I’ll still give you money. We’re living our best life. My KFC bucket would just have original recipe drumsticks though. Also if you’re not cooking, Chinese food sounds good too.
Ultimately though I think A Star Is Born (1976) doesn’t quite get what makes the story great. The emotional beats are off in the entire story. The has been doesn’t seem to care enough about his career to be in despair over it although when his band has realistically moved on, it feels like a step in the right direction. While his award show rant makes us like him more because it isn’t a hijacking moment as much as a too eager, oblivious and inappropriate, aggressive cheer, it does not nail the humiliation. She is just as loud and railing against the machine as he is. There is no emotional nuance to either character. They are either passionately making love under perfect lighting or screaming at someone. They are both exhausting, and I never bought the chemistry though I really think that they worked hard to make it work.
Streisand was not right for the role even though she is probably single-handedly responsible for the existence of A Star Is Born (1976). Her character is supposed to be shy and reluctant to perform then when she starts performing, she never stops. If Streisand’s life depended on it, she could not make any of that credible. At least in the beginning, her acting performance is more convincing because she shows her annoyance at his interruptions by singing louder and recaptures the audience’s attention. She never seems like an ingénue or vulnerable. Also for the first time ever, I didn’t like her songs in this film (runs and hides before I get killed). Also The Oreos? Are we ok with that? Eye roll. There are little jokes like this throughout the movie like, “You, with the kinky hair,” and it is Streisand, not her straight haired black back up singers who never get a name. You’re not as clever or cute as you think you are. Did it work in the 70s? Would you wear a gorgeous white three-piece pants suit to a concert? I would, but I’m a square. I also may not because I would be too hot.
A Star Is Born (1976) showed that it was completely tone deaf and did not understand the greatness of the story, i.e. it utterly lost me at the point when an eager reporter is trying to get an interview with her. If he is authentically and deeply in love with her, which is the entire point of the story, this updated plot twist completely undercuts that premise for me, and her response to it is complete melodramatic nonsense that doesn’t suit the character that Streisand is giving us. It may be a realistic moment for an entertainer couple to have, but not THIS particular couple, not if you’re remaking A Star Is Born.
A Star Is Born (1976) almost completely derailed the movie marathon for me. If you’re not a completist like me, then definitely skip this version if you don’t have the time to watch every version. It is dreadful.