If you saw the teeth gnashingly depressing 21 Grams, then you can guess why Chef Jake Bickelhaupt and his wife Alexa named their restaurant 42 Grams, which is also the name of the documentary that chronicles their journey to make their name on the world stage and move their underground restaurant from their home to a renown establishment in the city of Chicago and the world. The couple eagerly tells the camera that they are one, two souls.
42 Grams is predominantly focused on what it takes to single-mindedly succeed in the food business. Jake is tired of being a sous chef and has his own vision so the couple devotes all their time and resources to creating the restaurant. They decry reality tv so they rarely share anything too detailed or intimate about what is happening in their personal life, and we do not return to their apartment unless it is related to the restaurant. When a family member comes to live there, we only hear about it in passing, but we don’t see it. So if you’re looking for cheap Big Brother style drama, then keep it pushing pal.
I love documentaries and books about people who work with food: chefs, waitresses, home cooks. There is something thrilling about seeing someone do something well, and food porn is great. I also love when a documentary is ostensibly about one subject and accidentally captures someone’s life falling apart, but it is only obvious to everyone that is not close to the situation. While I was watching 42 Grams, I kept thinking things like, “I don’t think that I love anyone so much that I could sacrifice everything, including my job, to help them create their vision. Isn’t it great that everyone understands that he is talking like that because of work and not taking it personally because otherwise they could resent it. See, your problem is that you don’t have faith that you can do well professionally and have a healthy relationship. Some people can just make it work. You don’t have to choose.”
S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S
Turns out that I was right because the closing credits revealed that their restaurant thrived for three years then they got divorced during the last year. I actually softly said, “noooooooooo.” I took no joy in being right. There are two arguments that can be made. Most people never achieve greatness so it was worth it to prove that you are above average because no one can take that away from you, and the relationship may have ended anyway. I do not buy that argument. I’m not some hippy, philosophical, love conquers all chick. I went to Harvard, am eternally single and am driven. The relationship is more important. Don’t inadvertently use people to get to a goal. The interaction with the people on the way to the goal is what survives long after you forgot that you achieved that goal that seemed so necessary in the first place. I have to remind myself of that every minute of the day. It is not easy.
I wish that I had paid closer attention to how much he was drinking during the documentary because when he confesses to the cameraman that he is an alcoholic, it put a lot of seemingly casual shots and visual metaphors into perspective. A single Pabst blue can on a counter is barely noticeable, but when there are more in the garbage, and the director keeps focusing on it, you retroactively realize, “Oh fuck, he is falling off the wagon.” When Alexa urges him to toast the Michelin stars call, I thought, “Um, is this a good idea?” Does she know? I suddenly felt like I was in a psychological horror movie. Nooooooooo! Stop celebrating with alcohol!
Side note: why did Michael stop working for him when it became a restaurant? Maybe he had a prior obligation that prevented him from working elsewhere. Losing Michael may have been the beginning of the end.
42 Grams is a beautiful film about achieving professional excellence, but the closing credits makes it retroactively depressing, which did not ruin my enjoyment of the documentary. I went to a theater to see it and paid $10. Real talk: I love having food experiences like that, but always find myself hungry afterwards so while I applaud his unique style and commitment to not cheating his customers, would I be full though?