After I saw Mariah Carey on The Daily Show promoting The Meaning of Mariah Carey, the next day I went to my local bookstore and paid full price for it even though she did not need my money. I love my local bookstore, and I love her! I do not need to pay the far cheaper price on Amazon. I own all her music (I think) and though I am more intimately familiar with her early work than her more contemporary hits, all her work is on rotation on my iPod thus why I am now obsessed with Jump Smokers Radio Edit of Obsessed. I followed her since the beginning. When people made fun of Mariah Carey for her performance on New Year’s Eve in Times Square, I immediately countered by saying, “Can you walk around dressed like that in Times Square on the coldest night of the year, draw that many people and get paid a hefty sum. Have you made one hit?!? I don’t think so.” She basically owns Christmas. She has given us so much! Back off! We owe her! So if the following sounds critical, it is not intended as such.
If fame is proportionate to trauma, then The Meaning of Mariah Carey reveals why she is such a global phenomenon, which makes it a difficult read. In comparison to Ms. Carey, I had a sunny childhood, and I was homeless for a brief period. Better to be homeless than put in many of the situations that she was put in for most of her life! If you are expecting a comprehensive memoir about her entire life, change your expectations. While she does devote portions of her book to her songwriting and musical collaborations, the majority of her book gets devoted to childhood, marriage and adult family trauma. I recalled a line from a great comedy, Family, “When I started making money, I fell really hard into consumerism,” and when Ms. Carey details her lavish tastes and jet setting lifestyle, instead of feeling superficial and shallow, it is a well-deserved, hard earned breather for her and us. Buy Marilyn Monroe’s piano! Treat yourself! Would you like more of my money?
Page 5 of the hardcover has a second paragraph that seems to reek with colorism that would normally make me turn on my heels and run away, but while I did not sign a waiver, after reading about all the racial and gender psychological and physical violence that Ms. Carey experienced, I could understand that someone forced to breathe in toxicity for decades then consciously rejected that atmosphere probably would not escape unscathed and would use such language without intending to perpetuate those systems. I just wish that the editor had pushed back on using color metaphors so early in the book and would urge you to reserve judgment until the end of the book. She is unapologetically, proudly black and biracial. Do not get it twisted because of one paragraph. She could have passed and deliberately embraced her identity in spite of considerable financial pressure to do otherwise.
The Meaning of Mariah Carey is a book crafted to tell a very specific story almost like a testimony in church about how she survived. If you are not her family or her first husband, she will only spend a little time on you, show nothing but the utmost respect and adoration and keep it moving. There is kissing and telling, but if you are looking for a dishy, no holds barred gossip fest, Ms. Carey is too savvy for that. She still has to work and burns no bridges. Even if she knew a famous person who is now deceased, she handles their life and death quite delicately. I had to Google the way a lot of her associates died because the average reader will not know while reading her book.
While I would issue a trigger warning because The Meaning of Mariah Carey deals with psychological abuse, sexual violence and racism, I applaud Ms. Carey for being open about the abuse that she suffered even as a wildly successful artist. The only dishing that she does is about herself, and her missteps in how she tried to get help which turned into a public relations nightmare—missteps that she got pushed into rather than of her own full volition, I would add. We get surrounded by the media images of what family life is supposed to look like that I think that Ms. Carey revealing the ugly truth for some families, that the last people that you should trust are the people in your family, and that it is healthy to become estranged from them, is exactly the message that we need from Ms. Christmas herself.
I also think that it is worth noting that Ms. Carey talks about getting therapy first and her coming to Jesus moment as separate events. A lot of Christians think that Jesus is enough, and He is, but even He needed to rest and God likes talking to people other than Himself. The Meaning of Mariah Carey also highlights the importance of being persistent in finding the right mental health care choices for you. Some options were disasters that tried to make her feel smaller, not build her up. Ms. Carey did not just throw her hands and give up because a choice was a disaster. She found the right therapist and stuck with it even after she found a safe congregation and fled a horrible mental health facility. It is about finding what works for you. Also while someone may be the perfect choice at one time, an acting coach that opened the door for her to achieve her full potential was not the right choice as she changed. These are lessons from a superstar that are applicable to everyone.
The Meaning of Mariah Carey also provides an amazing lesson on self-care if you are looking for it, which makes for perfect pandemic reading. Even Ms. Carey has bosses, studio execs, who forget that she is a human being with practical needs that if not met, means the golden goose dies, but they do not care about those needs and will denigrate her if she only gets a number two hit. Ms. Carey, the queen of #1s, is fine with being #2 and feels that as long as she did her best, she is satisfied. She learned the hard way that she could not trust other people to pay her back in treating her like a human being and only she could make sure that she had enough rest, ate proper food and had her basic physical needs met. No one will do it for you and be pissed if you don’t give them more. If Ms. Carey can be satisfied with not being the best and prioritizes taking care of herself first even if it means risking big bucks and getting powerful people angry, who are you? Also if big studio execs are not happy with the queen of #1s and Ms. Christmas, what are you going to do to make your little boss grateful with your performance? Nothing! Stop it and take care of yourself.
If you love Ms. Carey, then you must read The Meaning of Mariah Carey, but it will be hard to read what she went through to get where she is. It actually helped me to understand why I am so familiar with some of her work and not others because of deliberate moves behind the scenes. I may have to consciously delve into her latest work. Also if you are looking for a comprehensive autobiography, Nick Cannon gets eleven pages out of a three hundred forty-one page book so stop.