I heard about KC Davis’ book, “How to Keep House While Drowning: 31 Days of Compassionate Help,” when I was on her TikTok channel, Struggle Care, @domesticblisters. I enjoy Davis’ content and am addicted to buying books though I have less time to read them so buying her book was a no brainer. The book is designed to be read over the course of thirty-one days, but I decided to read it in a couple of sittings then realized that the knowledge evaporated so reread it in mostly one sitting. Think of Davis’ book as a secular devotional instead of a book to be read straight through.
“How to Keep House While Drowning” is the book that you read when you love to read, but because of life, can no longer do so because of responsibilities and picking up anything larger feels like a lie or an opportunity to disappoint yourself with your lack of ability to get through the whole book. For far longer, I owned a gorgeous enormous tome, “Home Comforts: The Art & Science of Keeping House” by Cheryl Mendelson. Other than reading a few pages or consulting it like a reference, which is less likely because of Google, the book gathers dust on one of my many shelves devoted to unread books. A portable book is more likely to be read because it is more likely to be near its reader and reading anything can feel good. If you love to read and never had life get in the way of that, you will probably be left wanting more and believing that the book is slight, but think of it like a book of proverbs and spend more time delving into the meaning. Significance is not proportional to word count.
While there are practical cleaning tips in “How to Keep House While Drowning,” Davis’ book focuses on resetting our mindset around cleaning from a reflection of morality to a functional task and from an all or nothing approach to incremental progress. She is a positive GK Chesterton type who prioritizes survival over perfection. If Davis wants to leave the reader with one message, it is that the person who lives in the home matters more than the home itself. The state of the home bears no reflection on the character of the person who lives in it. As a licensed professional counselor, Davis decouples the act of cleaning from the unhealthy assumptions that we associate with cleaning. What distinguishes Davis from most self-help book authors is that she is fearless with using herself as an example. She practices what she preaches.
I had no problem accepting Davis’ lessons since I was fine with someone else doing the cleaning so I could spend my time doing the things that only I could do, and that I did well. I hate cleaning because time is scarce, and I would rather devote it to doing things that I love. I only started cleaning because of the pandemic. The only thing that I could safely outsource was laundry. My family’s life depends on as few people coming into our home as possible otherwise I would never have considered doing it. The woman who used to clean my house worked from home by giving me instructions on how to clean my house. After reading “How to Keep House While Drowning,” I did not apply any of Davis’ practical cleaning tips, but if you are starting from a clean slate and do not know where to start when it comes to cleaning, this book is helpful.
If I had to critique “How to Keep House While Drowning,” Davis does not break down cleaning other rooms in the house in the same way that she breaks down the bathroom. I wanted more gentle skill building for rooms whereas Davis devotes more time to tasks such as laundry, washing dishes, personal hygiene. When I was learning to clean, I did not know how to go about cleaning my kitchen, my living room or a bedroom. I understand the concept of care tasks, but not the nuts and bolts of how to do them. Which products do I buy? Which products do I use on which surfaces? I know that my floors are not wood, but they look like wood, and I am certain that every time that I mop, I am destroying them because when I got my home, I was not paying close enough attention to what it was. Oh well. When I have the bandwidth, and there is less of a chance of dying from breathing air, I’ll figure it out.
“How to Keep House While Drowning” devotes some time to the systemic issues surrounding cleaning. Davis addresses the endemic gender imbalance of cleaning and privileges survival of the individual over the individual saving the world before oneself. I was unfamiliar with the concept of harm reduction, but it appears to be the foundation of Davis’ advice. For instance, green housecleaning is laudable, but not if it comes before the well-being of the person. It is better to eat than to not eat because you do not have the energy to create the perfect, ethical meal. As a New Yorker, we apply this principle by eating out. It costs more money, and it is not good for you or the environment, but it is better than starving yourself and staring into space while getting hangry.
“How to Keep House While Drowning” touches on reasons why people may not be functional without diving into the concept of executive dysfunction, which makes it appropriate for a general audience and not tailored to neurodivergent readers though Davis has ADHD. Many readers may not even realize that Davis is explaining executive dysfunction since her book is so approachable and not filled with jargon.
“How to Keep House While Drowning” is the kind of book that I would give kids, recent high school grads, cleaning beginners or people who feel stuck for whatever reason and want to move forward. If you have a routine that works for you and enjoy cleaning, then I would skip it, but if you do and make those around you miserable for not living up to your standards, it may be useful so you can empathize with how the rest of us feel.
