SPOILER ALERT
The Turks want to take your son and 1,000 boys from your land and train them in their ways. What do you do? Naturally become a vampire & make everyone in your camp except your son, including some of the boys that you’re allegedly trying to save, into demonic vampires. Nothing is worse than being a Turk.
I’ll generally watch anything related to vampires, especially if it is explicitly about Dracula. I’m Team Dracula. I understand that like all empires, the Turks were no walk in the park and were guilty of many atrocities so I’m not Team Turk. I also am aware that lately numerous books and movies are as interested in the historical as the mythical Dracula and have enjoyed many of them, but it seemed like Dracula Untold was exploiting some Islamophobia and homophobia in this take on the oft told tale at the *gasp* prospect of their boys becoming Turks with particular emphasis on religion, but the Devil, no problem. Um, seriously!?! It also didn’t help that the majority of actors in Dracula Untold, including the Turks, was British, Canadian or American. Not a genuine Turk or Eastern European person could be found in any of the prominent roles.
All of this could be forgiven if Dracula Untold was fun, fresh or sexy, but it felt boring and predictable. Dracula is just a father and husband and wants to protect his family. Really? He resists drinking blood because he does not want to become a full time servant of the devil and remains faithful in spirit to his faith. He is basically invincible. He controls the weather, can destroy armies with his strength, speed, heightened senses and transformation abilities. He has never been more boring and perfunctory. Dracula Untold has one good fight scene between Mehmet and Dracula, but most fight scenes are with faceless hordes being defeated by blurry bats. His relationship with his wife is a cross between cliche and The Amazing Spider-man 2. You give me an army of vampires for minutes without even the slightest temptation that Dracula would now like to conquer the world with his demonic hordes instead of just being a family man. Dracula is the worst son of the Devil ever. You give me a Master Vampire, a bet and then just let it fall limply on the floor when he wins in hopes for a sequel. What a waste of Charles Dance, who is now popular from Game of Thrones! What a waste of vampires if they’re just wholesome every men set in a historical epic backdrop. What was the point? It isn’t awful, but Dracula Untold devoted too much talent, energy and money to be so bland and without bite. Not a must see unless you must see every vampire/Dracula movie.
