I was actually excited to see Wonder Woman 1984 in the theaters, but then the pandemic saved me money, time, and disappointment and I saw it at home on my television on HBO Max. It is the ninth installment in the DC Extended Universe, a sequel to Wonder Woman, but technically both films are prequels to the other movies in the DCEU. At two hours thirty-one minutes, it is only ten minutes longer than its predecessor, but is objectively too damn long. It unfolds sixty-six years after the majority of the events in the first film, and she is all alone, doing good until she makes a friend whom Kristen Wiig plays. They inadvertently discover that a possible artifact actually has powers while the villain knowingly exploits its powers, which wreaks planetary chaos. Will Wonder Woman be too distracted from her mission to help the world save itself?

Wonder Woman 1984 suffers from the same problem as Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies and more. The titular character somehow was the least interesting person on the screen when prior to this installment, she was usually the best part of the movie. Unfortunately this movie decides that she should basically never interact substantially on an emotional level until now and has been living on the fumes of 1918 because she was so in love with Steve. While I was irritated with Steve even being in the first movie, Chris Pine provides some much needed comedic relief from the DC trope that no hero can ever be happy and in love for long. I just never bought into the relationship, and this time around, it is problematic as hell. Think Ghost without consent. “Well, shit, Diana” indeed.

I suppose that Wonder Woman 1984 theoretically increased the stakes in this movie by having her face a real moral dilemma and a high price, but I was too busy being appalled at the first moral dilemma that she failed. It is clear that the filmmakers did not see it as an issue, but it was. I really wonder what Wonder Woman would look like if it was not only woman directed, but women wrote the story. I have a heart of stone when it comes to onscreen romance, but I always bought Agent Peggy Carter and Captain America’s romance even though they never made it to their first date!

Wonder Woman 1984’s most cohesive story and writers’ sympathies lie with Maxwell Lord, whom Pedro Pascal plays. Pascal is a great actor, but if he is in a movie, it is not usually a great sign: Kingsman: The Golden Circle, The Equalizer 2, which I enjoyed, but seriously. Pascal added undeserved depths in Lord’s charlatan, greedy character, and I have no idea if Lucian Perez, who plays Alistair Lord, his son, is a good actor, but Pascal had a glint in his eye that clearly said, “You’re going to be a good actor today. That little boy got a master class in physicality. Pascal definitely gets the Michael Fassbender award for acting better than the movie deserved by never letting go of his character’s vulnerability. Even before we get a flashback which reveals the motivation behind his destructive ambition, Pascal clearly kept it as the focal point for all his scenes. I also want to give The Lost World: Jurassic Park award to the casting director. You will know what I mean when you see it.

While the illustration of the chaos in the denouement had the generic, action desperation of the Hellboy reboot, the emotional impact in Wonder Woman 1984 was actually stronger between Gal Gadot and Pascal than her unfounded hope in humanity when facing off with Aires in the first installment. I would happily sacrifice action for more of those kinds of interactions between the actors/characters. After a mess of a movie, I begrudgingly enjoyed the denouement and found it emotionally satisfying. At least it ended strong.

Once I saw Wonder Woman 1984 as a horror demon possession/anti-Christ film, it began to work for me, and similar to Batman in The Dark Knight, we really did not need Wonder Woman until the end of the film. (By the way, I am not equating Pascal’s performance with Heath Ledger’s literal showstopping, iconic performance as the Joker!) I know that in the DC Comics world, it is all about Greek gods, not the Christian one, but I felt as if the writers were familiar with the eighties Christian fundamentalist Biblical interpretation of the “prince of the power of the air” as Satan being dominant over the airwaves regardless of whether they broadcast over radio or television. The bottomless, senseless greed of that era as a signal to deep, soul killing inability to find peace and satisfaction in valuing what you already possess was a theme that really worked for me and is a keen reflection of our own time. You know that reality is messed up if the villain in a comic book movie has more redemptive potential than the ones in real life.

I love Kristen Wiig. Wiig worked with what she was given and was another highlight of the film. Instead of admiring the statuesque Gadot, Wiig was simultaneously giving looks with her character development. Wiig as Barbara Minerva was giving me eighties fierceness though I need Wonder Woman 1984 to stop relying on the ugly duckling, jealous of Diana Prince trope that also appeared in the first film. I understand that villains are often friends with the hero before they turn on them, and I actually am behind the idea that she would turn once she realized what Diana’s goal was, but the jealous vibe is lazy, especially if it starts over a guy. There was already plenty of fodder for her to turn, and I would have enjoyed more scenes with them as friends and a team instead of planting the seeds of dissent fairly early. Cheetah had the best fight scenes in the film. While I buy that she would stop Diana, I do not necessarily think that automatically means she would help Lord achieve his goals, but Wiig makes it work and brings her indie acting sensibility on to the blockbuster. She felt as if she could be Selina Kyle’s relative though Selina was way more grounded.

Wonder Woman 1984 had some nice superhero moments. We get more lasso action, and I wish that there was more exploration of Diana’s powers after we discover how she got that invisible jet. By the end of the film, Gadot was definitely giving me Christopher Reeves’ Superman, which I enjoyed, but the film treated it more like an afterthought that a feature, which felt like a missed opportunity. The Asteria outfit is great, but ultimately felt anticlimactic since she did not really need it per se. I guess that after all those years, that bad boy could not take as much as it used to. I have not seen Wonder Woman in a little over three years, and I felt cheated that they amped her down instead of building on what they had. It is Avengers 2 all over again.

If Wonder Woman 1984 was actually supposed to be a movie about Lord, it works, but it isn’t so it doesn’t though it is not altogether worthless. If you can, watch it before it leaves HBO Max on January 24, 2021, do it, but it really does not deserve more effort than that. I am so glad that I did not pay to see this movie