When I watched and loved Paris, je t’aime, I had no idea that as a completist, I was committing to The Cities of Love series with gradually diminishing returns. If you are watching this series, it takes place in an international, iconic city, and is an anthology movie with an overarching story that barely ties together the other stories to each other, and each segment has a different cast and auteur, i.e. a well-known director with a signature style. Paris je t’aime had twenty segments. New York, I Love You had eleven.
Even though I enjoyed New York, I Love You, being a New Yorker actually detracted from the viewing experience. Berlin, I Love You is the fifth installment in the franchise and has ten segments. (Oops, no one told me about Tbilisi, I Love You or Rio, I Love You. If I am being honest, my ignorant American self had to look up Tbilisi. Now I feel bad because I loved And Then We Danced and thought I fell in love with Georgia through my television screen.) I know nothing about Berlin except its history, and that it is still affordable in a way that most international cities have not been in decades so I thought that you could sell me anything about life there. I was wrong.
Berlin, I Love You repulsed me in a way that its predecessors did not, but I am uncertain if it was the movie’s fault or a sign of how as I get older, I have more experience so just like I cannot enjoy rom coms anymore because they seem like horror stories that will take place off screen after the credits roll, this film highlighted an insulting, self-indulgent, narcissistic approach to a city that did not feel honest or real in the way that the others did. There is less room for imagination when your eyes are opened to the way that certain stories focus in the same subjects.
Berlin, I Love You attempts to subtly address the elephant in the room, the Holocaust, in two segments. While it did not hurt my enjoyment of those particular segments as stories when judged apart from their approach to World War II, when the resolution is viewed as a metaphor of postwar reconciliation between Germans and exiled German Jews, it felt inadequate and cheap to me. I obviously defer to descendants of survivors regarding how they received these stories.
It was probably true about its predecessors, but I did not notice until Berlin, I Love You that these movies privilege English speakers from the US or the United Kingdom instead of natives so while there is nothing innately wrong about getting a visitor or immigrant perspective on a city, because German women are depicted so differently from others, I found myself more interested in their stories than stories that I was more familiar with. I adore Helen Mirren and am generally pro Keira Knightley, but give me more Hannelore Elsner and whomever the lady cop was. When Elsner snatched someone up out of the blue, I realized that maybe it was not my imagination that was lacking, but the filmmakers. More of that please.
Unsurprisingly when Berlin, I Love You departed from the rom com formula, I enjoyed the story more unless it was so painfully predictable or allegorical that I could not stand it. Give me a talking car (“I am a Berliner, Jared. We are not known for soft language”) or a cheesy thriller over Neil LaBute’s idea of tedious edgy, which could have literally unfolded anywhere in his “He wishes that he was truly twisted” mind. I do not mind seeing unrealistic scenarios that would only happen in movies, but they should at least stop my heart and breath in some unanticipated way. Do not pat yourself on the back for violating taboos if a kitten born yesterday could see it coming a mile away.
Because of its mind numbing, soporific predictability, while watching Berlin, I Love You, I often found myself thinking practically and logistically about finances. If you are a busker who cannot afford alcohol, then how did you get such a spacious loft or a Porsche? Is rent really cheap? Are cars cheaper than alcohol? Is getting a new bike or repairing a bike more expensive than a talking car if the car is in your corner? Is it worse to ignore the Syrian refugee crisis or literally borrow a Syrian refugee then ditch them with your family AND standup whomever you had plans with so you can sulk in various Berlin establishments about how your mom does not get you and is so bourgeois with her lemon chicken that actually looks pretty good? Are immigration rules really lax in Germany? Could I just go and live there with no steady stream of income…theoretically of course?
Berlin, I Love You just felt so constructed that I could never just enjoy what I was watching without seeing the strings pulled with the exception of a moment here and there. For me, the best segment was “Drag Queen” though based on the actual dialogue, the title may have been a misnomer. Diego Luna and Michelangelo Fortuzzi gave the best performances because they felt like real people whether by themselves or interacting with each other. I wanted a whole movie devoted to them because it was so simple and understated. In another’s hands, it could have felt like an afterschool special, but it just felt innocent, sweet and gentle. Someone like LaBute would veer towards the expected possibility of emotional violence and tension of this scenario, but the real radical approach is looking at the real world and exploring the countercultural story line, the road less traveled. I never forgot a story about a woman who was prepared to defend her humanity when she realized that a kid was asking a question because she honestly did not know the answer and wanted to.
While I was not into the actual segment, I enjoyed and did not initially recognize Glee’s Dianna Agron, who also directed her story, who gave a magnetic performance that felt grounded in artistic integrity though I did not necessarily dig it. It felt a bit like a manifesto disguised as dialogue, but there was something organic and earnest in her delivery that did not make me want to hurl objects at my television screen and kept me on the journey. I also am neither hating the player nor the game when Berlin, I Love You clearly exploits the then still beloved fame of Game of Thrones to boost up its incredibly uneven stories.
Berlin, I Love You almost made me fall asleep and overall I think that sleeping would have done me more good than staying awake and watching this movie. It felt like a painful slog for most of the film and no amount of star power or charisma could alleviate it. On the other hand, I am not into rom coms or rom dramas so maybe someone who is would find this anthology more entertaining than I did. Let me know.
