Woodshock is about a woman, Theresa, who is trying to process recent losses and a major life change. I almost saw it in theaters because I liked the previews, and women directed it. Thank God for a friend who said, “Sorry, not particularly interested…” I then had time to notice that the movie was not going to be in the theaters longer than a week after it opened so I put it in my queue instead, which was more attention than it deserved.
Save yourself, skip Woodshock and just watch Melancholia and Anti-Christ instead if you really must get your artsy fartsy movie groove on. Because the entire movie lacks any momentum when something actually does happen, it may not register (“Who’s Johnny?”) or by then, you won’t care. I’m not sure if it helps to be high to enjoy this movie, but I’m too black to even drink within forty-eight hours of whenever I’m planning to drive so shrug, that is never happening. For me, the only question that mattered was how much of what was happening did Theresa intend or was accidental. Considering what happens to the only person that kept trying to shake her out of her doldrums, I’m going to award the Rose from Get Out trophy to Theresa. Who will take care of the birds?!? I did not trust her once I saw all those eggs in the sink, and she had nothing in her refrigerator but cake. Shout out to Marie Antoinette and Sofia Ford Coppola?
There is a brief moment when it seemed like the Mulleavy sisters seem to toy with the idea that Theresa has a supernatural connection to the trees as reflected by her physical injuries, but considering that Nick is safe, never mind. Bear in mind that just a change in victims would thematically tie the entire movie together-the idea of merciless nature striking back against man’s incursion on their territory and a woman embracing her homicidal side as the underworld, destructive aspect of being a nature lover. Side note: I would rather that a character not have a boyfriend than have a boyfriend that she or he never spends time with, but when they are together, even if I squint, I would not understand what initially attracted them to each other since they are so obviously miserable. Movies and TV shows, I need some hint of once upon a time, these people would at least snack together.
Unless you really enjoy seeing Kristen Dunst walking around in underwear or thought The Witch was a masterpiece, please do not watch Woodshock. For a movie written and directed by two women, it disappointingly contributes nothing of note about women in film.