I was in college when The X-Files originally aired. I did not watch it initially, but by the second season, I was in. I had a friend with a VCR who had recorded the earlier episodes and was willing to lend his VHS tapes to me. I soon caught up while maintaining my grades and converting my roommates to the show. I joined my fellow fans in the common room to watch it live every Friday night. This ishow I partied at Harvard. I recorded episodes myself and copied what I didn’t have. I rewatched old episodes, entire seasons, faithfully. I made my mom watch it, and she was not into it. She is still traumatized by one episode (Squeeze). I even watched it when Mulder and Scully left, and Robert Patrick had the thankless job of keeping the show going long after it should have ended.
And don’t forget the movies! I paid money to see the movies when I had little to spare, and they were not good. The first one, The X-Files: Fight the Future, was quite bad until they released it for home viewing, added scenes to make it coherent and pretended like that was always how the movie was. The second movie was released long after the series ended and just exploited my love for Mulder and Scully. Basically it was an extended standalone episode to see how the two were coping. At least I did not get into Millennium or The Lone Gunmen, but I am a completist so I never say never.
The X-Files was the first tv show that broke my heart. I wanted to believe there was a master plan and someone knew the whole story behind the alien conspiracy. I bought books that analyzed The X-Files. Al Gore had just created the Internet (I kid), and I obsessively combed through primitive websites for answers. Chris Carter was Penelope from The Odyssey-constantly weaving then unraveling the story in a desperate bid to stave off cancellation. When Lost pulled that same crap, I was angry, but not surprised. I had seen the signs before. Why can’t we learn from the British and tell a great story, but end a show while we’re still at the top of our game!?! No, Americans pull the old switcheroo-you weren’t here for the story, but the great characters, right. I was here for both!
I learned from my mistakes. When I watch a show that promises to reveal an elaborate conspiracy and remain consistent throughout its run, I laugh and realize that the show creators are clueless and are dancing as fast as they can. I occasionally watch shows like The Blacklist or Blindspot, but I’m not invested. That is a young person’s game.
When Heroes came back, I said no, thank you. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. I don’t want no scrubs. A scrub is a guy who can’t get no love from me. But when Fox announced a 10th season of The X-Files, I was so angry with myself. I was totally going to watch it, and I knew that the storyline was going to be wretched. I know that to prepare for the 10th season, many people rewatched the series and movies. I have forgotten more than most people will ever know about The X-Files. The Internet is so much better now. If I forgot something, I’ll just wiki it or read an in-depth analysis of the episode. I’m running out of time. I’m too old and too grown to waste more time than necessary on The X-Files than I already have when there are excellent television shows such as The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and Hannibal to obsess about.
I decided to watch The X-Files’ 10th season in one sitting. 6 episodes is about 4.5 hours. Here is my non-spoiler verdict. If you want to save time, just watch the strongest episode, episode 3,”Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster.” It is fun, inventive, character-driven and has a ton of Easter eggs for the longtime fans. If you do watch the whole season, Scully is better than ever. She is kicking ass, taking names and not getting kidnapped anymore.
Mulder is annoying, and maybe he always was, but when you’re young, conspiracies are fun and entertaining. When you’re older and see how incompetent most people are, conspiracies seem less likely to be effective or secret for long. When Mulder and Community’s Joel McHale are tasked with barely breathing rants that take up a half-hour of the episode, it feels more like comedy and less like a well-thought out theory. I’m not taking your allegations seriously. You’re crazy people. Scully, why are you hanging out with these losers? They need to grow up. If you don’t believe me, put on the closed captions, mute the sound, and read what they’re saying. It is foolishness without the charisma of David Duchovny’s monotone, low voice incessantly prattling on. I’m too old for all this conspiracy BS. Get to the point. One sentence.
The X-Files is playing the shell game and has changed the focus of the alien conspiracy AGAIN!!!! I find it vaguely offensive that The X-Files sounded more like a rightwing conspiracy fringe show. Vaccines! Even Robert DeNiro can’t get away with that crap. Also the idea that rightwing conspiracies’ suspicions are correct, and everyone is watching them was eye roll worthy. When there is a threat of an apocalypse, it feels rushed and unearned. Once again, The X-Files introduces two new characters, who are like Mulder and Scully, with hopes of reinvigorating the gravy train. They are fine, but no, thank you.
I also expect that if there are only 6 episodes, there should not be so much filler and flashbacks.
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Before the alien conspiracy was that the aliens were working with the government and set a timetable to possess us and take over the Earth. At the early possession stage, they are more like growling, slashing monsters than advanced beings capable of operating technology, but OK. NOW the aliens were just checking in because we obtained nuclear power and the big bad humans exploited them and are the only ones with the evil agenda. Um, then why didn’t the aliens send out a search party to see what happened to their friends, team up with Mulder and Scully to stop the conspiracy and put an end to the Smoking Man, who looks more like an extra from Hannibal than ever before? Yuck, no! This story shift is just STUPID.
Question: if you are no longer an FBI agent and want to rejoin, can you just rejoin because your old boss said so OR do you have to do the physical fitness tests and background checks again? No. Oh OK then. Skinner, make it so. Also Mulder and Scully are no better at gathering evidence than they ever were and practically beg the opposing forces to snatch people up, particularly in the first and second episode. Worst FBI agents EVER.
I’m not Muslim, but there was one episode about suicide bombers that felt too uncomfortably close to stereotypes while simultaneously being sympathetic to their humanity. The episode felt plagued with false equivalencies. I just think that if you’re not a member of a group, maybe talk to a few people from that group as a sounding board if you don’t already work with people from that group before writing about it. This is why representation is important behind the scenes, Matt Damon!
Side note: if you’re going to bring back characters, you bring me Agent Reyes. I’m not shading Annabeth Gish, but her character was the worst. I don’t think anyone wants to know what she has been up to since 2002. How is Doggett? Throw Robert Patrick in a black t-shirt. Every one misses that scene.
If you keep giving me The X-Files, I’ll keep watching, but I’m only here for Scully. The mythology has jumped a whole ocean of sharks.